Review: Trolli Sour Brite Sloths & 2017 NBA Playoff Predictions

JFG Nation, the NBA PLAYOFFS ARE HERE. Let’s pull out the prediction machine.

In the East:

1-Boston vs. 8-Chicago: One thing is clear; the Bulls go as Jimmy Butler goes. When Butler is on, the otherwise no name Bulls can hang. When he’s off, they get pummeled by 20. Boston knows this, but I don’t think Brad Stevens will change anything in the way his team plays. I expect Chicago to pick up a couple while the Celts win 4-2.

2-Cleveland vs. 7-Indiana: “Cleveland has not chemistry! Lebron is tired! They have a roster of chumps!” I’M NOT BUYING IT. Cleveland knows how to win in the playoffs and they are ALL about plenty of rest between rounds. The worst position to be in is thinking LeBron is vulnerable. That’s what he wants you to think. This will be a sweep, 4-0.

3-Toronto vs. 6-Milwaukee: Toronto is an efficient machine and the Bucks sort of stumbled into the playoffs, but for some reason Milwaukee scares me. Kidd coaches well, and they have so many young guns. Ibaka helps Toronto take on Milwaukee’s size, but can anyone stop the Greek Freak? This’ll be a close one – Raptors win 4-2 but every single game will be close.

4-Washington vs. 5-Atlanta: MY WIZ! I saw the Wizards play a HORRIBLE game against Atlanta live – turnovers, sluggish energy, no shots falling. AND THEY STILL WON. Atlanta plays exactly the physical type of game that can crush the Wiz, but I have faith. Wiz win 4-1.

And in the West:

1-Golden State vs. 8-Portland: Golden State sweeps 4-0; I’m not going to bother wasting any more typed space.

2-San Antonio vs. 7-Memphis: Memphis and San Antonio are tied 2-2 but I think Pop was just resting his guys the entire season. Memphis is the same well constructed physical team they’ve always been, but San Antonio is just better version of that same model. This is gonna be  a drag out fight. PAU AGAINST MARC!! Spurs win 4-3.

3-Houston vs. 6-OKC: HOW ARE THESE TWO TEAMS MATCHED UP?? Harden vs. Westbrook??! This is must see TV. There will be hundreds of points scored in this game. It’ll be a blur. Three pointers launched! Both stars going for triple doubles! Madness!!! When the dust clears, I think Houston has it. OKC has the size advantage but the fluidity of the Rockets is sort of amazing. 3s will be bombing. Rockets win 4-3.

4-Clippers vs. 5-Utah: UPSET ALERT. The Jazz are a SCARY TEAM. Best defense in the league, lots of energy, and Chris Paul is one more year older. The Clippers problem is still the bench. They have a more talented starting 5, but can the bench hold leads? I know Utah doesn’t have much either, but so what? These are going to be some frustrating low scoring games, and I’m calling it: Utah, 4-2.

Agree, disagree? Sound off in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Trolli Sour Brite Sloths!!

These were sent to me, and here’s the PR buzz:

Following the launch of James Harden’s Sour Brite Weird Beards last year, Trolli, the Weirdly Awesome sour gummi brand, is back with another 7-Eleven collaboration – this time featuring the most Weirdly Awesome animal in the universe, The Sloth. Trolli and 7-Eleven are launching Trolli Sour Brite Sloths and a Trolli Pineapple Lime Slurpee. Why? Because Sour Brite Sloths LOVE Slurpees. Both products will be exclusively available in participating 7-Eleven stores nationwide through April 30.

Here’s how to get in on this Weirdly Slothsome collaboration:

Eaaattt:  Try the new Trolli Sour Brite Sloth gummies. They’re mega chill and down to hang – just like our smiling, furry friends. Flavor combinations include Pineapple & Lime, Strawberry & Grape, and Blue Raspberry & Berry Punch. Each bag will be sold for $1.39.

Drrriiinnkkk: Check out Trolli’s first-ever 7-Eleven Slurpee in lip-smackingly awesome Pineapple Lime, and will be sold at standard Slurpee pricing for the small, medium, and large options.

Slllurrrppp: Pick up a Weirdly Awesome Trolli Slurpee straw at 7-Eleven to help your slurping – and inevitable brain freeze! The straws will be sold for $1.99 and will include a FREE package of Trolli 2oz candy.

Haaannnggg: Come hang with us! Follow Trolli and 7-Eleven on social for slow-crawling content, digital videos, and fun giveaways.

DO THESE TASTE GOOD? YES!

WHY OR WHY NOT? The blue/purple ones are a little more blueberry/grape-y, the red/blue ones are a little more strawberry/blueberry, and the green/yellow ones are a little more citrus-y. But otherwise these are just classic sour gummy candies, with all of the mouth puckering goodness that comes with it. I started eating Sour Patch Kids when I was a wee lad and never looked back. If you like sour gummies, you’re pretty much going to love these.

ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD KNOW? Nah. I’m gonna go chew some more of these sugar bombs down.

PURCHASED AT: Sent to me, but you can find them at 7-11.

WHERE FOUND IN STORE? Uh…I’m guessing the candy section?

COST? $1.39.

Sincerely,

The JFG

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Discuss - 6 Comments

  1. Joe says:

    Agree with everything.

    I love Utah ov theer Clips. Stifle Tower baby.

  2. Matt says:

    I have the Clips, but the Jazz are certainly going to be tough and I wouldn’t be surprised if they did win. I also have the Bucks over the Raptors, i think that’s going to go 7. And by far the most interesting matchup has to be Rockets-Thunder, that’s going to be amazing. I can’t see how that doesn’t go 7

  3. TheBackupQB says:

    Way to go out on a limb…chalk chalk chalk with a 5 over a 4

  4. TheBackupQB says:

    Where is Georgia State?

  5. Anonymous says:

    They took my top flavors from each of the 3 mixes and put them all into one mix! I should try this sometime…

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