RANT: Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo
JFG Nation, let’s just get to it. I don’t want to waste any more energy reviewing these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos than I have to.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this to happen. I told you as much on the Nosh Show:
If buzz is what you wanted, Oreo, you certainly got it. Everyone – blogs, news outlets, Facebook algorithms – they couldn’t get enough of these. I’ve been doing this long enough to know I’m not going to break any news. Plus, I’m not going to rush to buy into your BS, Oreo.
So, yesterday, on the way home from doing things I actually enjoy in my life, I grudgingly stopped by Harris Teeter (Kroger affiliate) to find these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos.
A photo posted by Eric Huang (@junkfoodguy) on
And there they were. Damn you, Oreo. Your hubris knows no bounds.
Today’s rant: Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo!!
Look, I’ll just say it one more time why I think these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos won’t work – because in real life you don’t eat Swedish Fish with bitter dark chocolate wafers, EVER. All the other Limited Edition Oreo flavors which seem outlandish I can wrap my head around: Limeade? Probably tastes like Key Lime Pie. Lemon in Chocolate wafers? OOO, how sophisticated. But these? No. NO. NO ONE EATS THIS.
And take your “Maybe it tastes like Dirt Cake” thoughts and stuff them in a sack. Dirt Cake is Chocolate Pudding and Cookie/Cake Crumbles. No one thinks of the gummy worms as the main flavor of dirt cake. Sucks to your assmar.
Let’s get to the play-by-play of my Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo nightmare/experience:
I opened, and sniffed, these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo…
…on one hand, they smell exactly like Swedish Fish. On the other hand, THEY SMELL LIKE SPRAY PAINT. Uck, WHY, OREO?
You might also ask why I am a grown adult wearing a tank top. Because it’s 111 degrees outandYOU’RE GETTING OFF TOPIC, JFG NATION. THE COOKIES. FOCUS ON THE COOKIES.
A genuine look of skepticism.
Taking the plunge. Yes, I’m using two hands. Because I’m so very, very scared.
The exact moment when the jaws come apart from the first bite, and the “flavor” starts to ebb…
OH GOD. WHY, OREO? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME.
And now you’ve flown too close to the sun with these effing Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreos. I’LL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN.
Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo have a red creme inside of standard Oreo wafers. The creme is gummy and comes apart all oddly. It tastes like Swedish Fish. It does…but in creme form, which is weird and disconcerting and not delicious. Sort of cough syrup-y.
Eaten together, wafers and all, these Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo do not taste like Black Forest Cake. The creme is not sweet enough to make the cookie taste better. The combo does not end pleasantly. The JFGal commented after a bite: “OH, THOSE DON’T FINISH WELL.” No, no they don’t.
We know the Oreo cookie wafer is slightly bitter. The creme does nothing to complement. The creme, meanwhile, gets a little lost in the wafer. When the flavors finally mix, they are not good. The chemical-y flavor of the creme mixes with the slightly bitter wafer to form a horrid flavor.
I’m angry, Oreo. I knew I wouldn’t like these, and damn you for confirming my speculation.
Do not buy these.
Purchased at: Harris Teeter, Rockville, MD
Price: $3.00 on sale