Review: Talenti Chocolate Sorbetto & I Trust You, But You’re Still Scaring The Hell Out Of Me With Those Chainsaws, Firefighters
JFG Nation, I live near a fire station. I have BIG respect for the firefighter community; these men and women put their life on the line ever time they answer a call. I pass by the station every time I walk to work. And most of the time, I give anyone who is out a friendly nod, etc.
The firehouse near me has an odd, but probably common, exercise. Firefighters use chainsaws sometimes – to cut into buildings, cars, etc. Makes sense. As part of their duties, firefighters are required to maintain these saws by running them every once in a while to make sure there’s no kinks or bugs that might occur from lack of use. Again, makes sense.
What ends up happening for the fire station near me is that, since the station is in the city and there is likely no “back yard” or the like, these fire fighters are required to do this maintenance out front – like, in the driveway where the trucks might pull out. I understand all of this. But here’s the thing – CHAINSAWS ARE EFFING SCARY. I’ve seen enough horror movies and watched enough Dateline to know that chainsaws are NO JOKE, and you do not take them lightly.
With that in mind, let me describe the scene to you that I see once a week:
1) There is a line of four chainsaws/buzzsaws with BIG ASS blades, resting on the ground, about ten feet from where everyone is walking, and one dude is sidestepping back and forth, revving the saw and placing it back on the ground. Another one. Another one. And he’s doing it FAST too, like he’s running a relay race! Rev, set it down, pick another up, REV, put it down, etc. SLOW DOWN SIR. The last thing I need is for you to set the saw down wrong, it catches the sidewalk, and launches into my torso.
2) OR, there will jut be the four saws running at full speed, blades a-spinnin’, just sitting there in a row with NO PROFESSIONALS NEARBY. Like, the dude set them to go, and went back inside to grab some tools/oil/etc. HEY HEY HEY. You can’t take you eyes off these things!!! What happens if a dog runs up on them. Or again, if one tips over and catches the sidewalk and launches itself into a passing car??? My mind is going crazy.
3) OR, there will be three-four firefighters out front, each holding a chainsaw, revving them all at the same time like some horrifying scene from the Purge.
Like, I said – I understand the exercise. And I TRUST firefighters; nothing but love. But that doesn’t stop this scene from being TOTALLY FRIGGIN SCARY, compelling me to break out into full sprint by the fire station when I see it happening. *Shudder* YOU AIN’T CHOPPING *MY* LEG OFF TODAY.
What do you think, JFG Nation? Have you ever seen this before? Let me know in the comments below.
Today’s junk food: Talenti Chocolate Sorbetto!!
It’s been a while since I reviewed some Talenti. I could go into this whole “I remember when…” with Talenti, but the fact is Talenti is not a small distribution product anymore. It is EVERYWHERE, and people love it. I know I do. Have they changed their recipe since their acquisition by Unilever? Who knows – I’ll let the ice cream blogs inform me of that.
Talenti Chocolate Sorbetto is part of their new crop this season, and I was struck by how the tub looked – ALL DARK AND MYSTERIOUS. I had to try it.
Talenti Chocolate Sorbetto is NOT chocolate ice cream for obvious reason – NO MILK. So what is this, frozen Yoohoo then?
Opening the tub of Talenti Chocolate Sorbetto, I could smell the dark chocolate. It sort of smelled like how brownie batter or chocolate cake batter smells before you put it in the oven – just that deep not-really-sweet chocolate smell. And the look was super-sexy: Dark brown, shimmering.
I scraped some of this Talenti Chocolate Sorbetto, and it was super smooth – Talenti uses gums, but it gets the desired effect; a super-smooth spoonful.
Placing the spoonful in my mouth, I have to be honest – the first thing that popped into my brain was Jello Pudding Pops. Obviously not as artificial as pudding pops were, but the similarities are there. And I mean that in a good way – it was a nice, sweet, deep dark chocolate flavor that was more icy than milky. The flavor was good – a cold sweet dark chocolate. The pudding pop reference is accurate; the flavor of this sorbetto lacked creaminess. Instead, all I got was just nice DEEP dark chocolate flavor over and over, and it finished clean – no aftertaste of milkiness. Some might miss that, but I enjoyed the unique experience.
This was really really interesting. I enjoyed it immensely as a nice alternative to traditional chocolate ice cream.
PURCHASED AT: Giant, Van Ness, DC
Junk Food Guy