Review: New Smoked Gouda Triscuit & I CLEARLY Do Not Understand the Grammys

JFG Nation, I was reviewing the Grammy results last night, and I came to a conclusion: I have NO idea how the Grammys work or are supposed to work. The main thought I had when looking at the winners list was: “didn’t this stuff all come out two years ago???”

Seriously. According to Wiki, the show honors the music from the just-completed year, like the Oscars. So, the show held on Sunday night honored the music from 2015. TWO THOUSAND FIFTEEN. So, riddle me this, JFG Nation:

  1. How the hell is Meghan Trainor winning “Best New Artist,” essentially a rookie of the year award, when her “All About that Bass” was nominated for Record of the Year LAST year?? Shouldn’t she have been the Best New Artist last year? Who’s up for best new artist next year, Taylor Swift?
  2. Speaking of Taylor Swift, how the heck did 1989 win Album of the Year when it came out in 2014?? And, in fact, was the “the best-selling album of 2014, selling 3.66 million copies.”
  3. I could have sworn I heard Record of the Year Uptown Funk before 2015, and I was right – because it came out in October of 2014. Get ready for the Record of the Year next year…..Uptown Funk.
  4. Sugar, by Maroon 5, was nominated for best pop performance. Sugar, the song off the album V. WHICH WAS RELEASED IN 2014. STOP THE MADNESS.

So that’s my issue – I have nothing against the artists, but some explain how something qualifies for the Grammys. Is the “year” the business FISCAL year? October 1 – October 1? What is happening here? Someone explain or else I’m gonna keep watching these shows thinking, “Didn’t that come out two summers ago?”

Today’s junk food: New Smoked Gouda Triscuit!!

New Smoked Gouda Triscuit: The Money Shot

New Smoked Gouda Triscuit: The Money Shot

Sorry I’m late with this New Smoked Gouda Triscuit review – I was too busy munching through them. These are a new flavor along with the Mediterranean Olive variety, which I reviewed recently. Look – I’ll just give you the CliffsNotes version now – these are good. Really good. Waaaay better than the olive variety, IMO. When I said I was busy munching through these, I was being honest – I’d go to taste a cracker to write the review, and then I’d just sit there eating 7-8 crackers before i realized I hadn’t typed anything for a few minutes. These were, in a word, distracting.


New Smoked Gouda Triscuit contain…CHEDDAR CHEESE POWDER?????

Opening the box, these crackers indeed smelled slightly Gouda-ish. The smokiness. The round cheesiness. It was all there when I inhaled deeply. The aroma was faint, but present.


I popped one of these New Smoked Gouda Triscuit into my mouth and chewed, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one, then I did another one. Then I realized I needed to type something. Then I ate another one.

These were great, what can I say? They tasted like smoked gouda! They tasted like a Triscuit cracker with smoked gouda on top. The only drawbacks – because there was no ACTUAL cheese sliced on top of the Triscuit, the flavor wasn’t as creamy as regular smoked gouda, but I’m nit picking. The initial smokiness was there, as well as the cheesiness and slight tang that gouda has. The only other critique – not all the crackers were created equal. I thought some had more gouda flavor than others.

BUT, all in all, these were simply wonderful. The heavy cheese flavor really worked well with a cracker that hasn’t had a cheese flavor outside of their THINS variety. Nabisco, please do more cheese on Triscuits if its gonna be this tasty. I approve.

PURCHASED AT: Walmart, Germantown, MD

COST: $2.00

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.


Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 7 Comments

  1. Jeni says:

    Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, Triscuit for not letting me down. Definitely gonna snag a box or 12 of these.

    • 12. Definitely get 12.

      Or 47.

      Seriously, they’re probably the best new product I’ve had in recent memory. And now there’s the Smoked Gouda Lays…and the Smoked Gouda Cape Cod chips…and the Smoked Gouda Oreos…


  2. Alley says:

    We bought a box of these last week and it’s been a struggle not to just shove handfuls of them in our pieholes. Super good.

  3. DeannaR says:

    From the Grammy FAQ page:

    What are the eligibility requirements?
    For the 58th Annual GRAMMY Awards, albums must be released between Oct. 1, 2014 and Sept. 30, 2015. Recordings must be commercially released in general distribution in the United States, i.e. sales by label to a branch or recognized independent distributor, via the Internet, or mail order/retail sales for a nationally marketed product. Recordings must be available for sale from any date within the eligibility period through at least the date of the current year’s voting deadline (final ballot).

    I’m with you on keeping it straightforward, though. 2015 should mean 2015 and not any other year. That being said, certain albums may be excluded if they came out at the end/beginning of the year and missed the award show, unless they always had the award show early in the next year to honor all of the previous year’s candidates.

  4. Diane says:

    YES! They are the best Triscuit ever known to mankind! Eat them by yourself and you’ll find yourself Hoovering through them like nothing flat. Fabulous!

  5. Cracked pepper is better says:

    These are fucking awful are you kidding me

  6. Julia says:

    Hi. I’m sitting here eating my 100000000000th box of Gouda Triscuits. I love them so much I just googled “I’m obsessed with Gouda triscuit crackers” and this blog came up. Srsly. So. Good. I’m a little scared now because I can almost eat the whole box in one sitting and I just noticed that would be about 1000 calories. Shame. Just a little shame. I wish these damn crackers were never invented! Damn you Triscuits!

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