Review: New Swiss in a Biskit Crackers & Awkward: Things Couples Do

JFG Nation, let’s talk about couples and relationships. No, that’s too general. Let’s talk about things that couples in relationships do that make you give the raised eyebrow. You know what I’m talking about. For example, intense PDA: People sucking face in the grocery line like they’re trying to clean their partners skin with their tongue, or basically humping on a subway car. Save it for ChatRoulette, people.

But here are some things I’ve seen as recently as the PAST WEEK that made me go, “Dude, you guys need to chill out”:

1) Sitting on the same side of a booth at a restaurant. We’ve all seen this, and who knows? Maybe I’ve done this myself once. But I obviously realized the error of my ways, because I’ve NEVER done it again. When you’re with your significant other, WHY would you want to sit on the same side of a booth unless you wanted a little hand action under the table? Other than that, it is extremely weird to me: you have to turn to the side to have a conversation, you have to make the other person move in case you need to use the restroom, and you put the waiter in an awkward situation where he comes to the table and is frankly startled to see both people dining on the same side.

I saw this Monday. The waiter came walking up to the center of the table, realized that both people were on one side, and shimmied back a couple steps to properly talk to the couple. Do you have a breakfast nook at home, and you’re just Pavlovian-trained to sit on the same side? I asked a friend couple once about this, and they said, “I dunno – we just like being near each other.” Guys, I promise the chasm from across the table is able to be conquered. Your arms can reach out to hold hands. It’ll be ok, weirdos.

2) Walking down the sidewalk with hands in each other’s back pockets. This is seen primarily with teenagers, and another version is just a couple holding each other around the waist so hard that even when they confront someone walking toward them, they both turn sideways like a door to let them by. They don’t let go. NEVER LET GO. I CANNOT BE APART FROM YOU FOR A NANOSECOND. I’ve seen couples walk into stores, restaurants, etc. pressed against each other, shuffling through the doors sideways without ever losing body contact like conjoined twins.

Now, if the people I saw WERE conjoined twins, then I apologize. But for the people refusing to break their vanguard as I’m trying to enter the post office. MOVE IT. I promise that when you break contact your spouse will not disappear into the night like a myth. HE WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME. Either move, or at least turn COMPLETELY to the side to let people by.

3) Finally, my recent favorite: people sharing earbuds. I was riding the subway to work when I observed a couple ENTER the subway car with one iPhone, one pair of ear buds, one bud plugged into the dude’s ear, one dude plugged into the woman’s ear. They moved in concert, and sat down together, still plugged into the same audio device. Wow, they must REALLY love NPR. You guys are so linked, one can’t listen to the recent episode of Serial before the other person lest there be SPOILER ALERTS?

It was so bizarre, watching this couple sit with a split headphone set between them. First of all, HOW is that an enjoyable experience?? I don’t work hard every day to listen to things in friggin Mono. STEREO ALL THE TIME FOR ME. Second, just download whatever you’re listening to your device and listen to it separately. The woman was texting on her own iPhone while the audio played from the dude’s phone. What the heck? BUY SOME EARBUDS, LADY.

What do YOU think, JFG Nation? Am I totally off base here? And if YOU happen to be one of those couples that do any of the above, EXPLAIN YOURSELF. The comment board below is waiting.

Today’s junk food: New Swiss in a Biskit Crackers!

New Swiss in a Biskit Crackers: The Money Shot

New Swiss in a Biskit Crackers: The Money Shot

Oh baby. I first saw these over on Twitter when @KingRhino clued me in. Now, I’ve reviewed Chicken in a Biskit Crackers on this blog before. They are some of my FAVORITE crackers. Hell, just talking about them now, I’m gonna grab a box this weekend and CRUSH THEM. God, I drool when thinking about Chicken in a Biskit Crackers. Yum Yum.

But now the same company has SWISS in a Biskit Crackers??? I mean, as a self proclaimed addict of Cheez-Its, how could I NOT try these cheese crackers? I had to. I don’t even love Swiss Cheese that much, but these were going into my belly, pronto.

Apparently these existed a while ago, and now they’re BACK. Well, they are new to me! Let’s eat!

(PS: The above picture was my best attempt at color fixing on Photoshop. It got a little out of hand.)

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New Swiss in a Biskit Crackers contain Swiss Cheese Powder! Nice. Happy to see that this “Swiss” flavor isn’t comprised of a four cheese blend of cheddar, parm, etc. etc. JUST GIMME THE SWISS.

As an aside, turns out that these crackers may have already existed in Canada, according to @JunkFoodDog. What the hell, Nabisco? You holding out on me?

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New Swiss in a Biskit Crackers are fun looking! They flat construction with holes etched or cut out of the light yellow/white rectangular shape. I LOVE IT! FUN FACTOR!

When I opened the box and sniffed, I smelled Swiss cheese. Well, sort of – I definitely got a cheesy doughy smell with a slight tang that reminded me of Swiss. It was a promising start. I grabbed a whole bunch and munched, to get the full effect…

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These New Swiss in a Biskit Crackers were GOOD. Now, I have to admit – it’s been a while since I ate Swiss Cheese Cheez-Its, but these crackers NAILED the Swiss Cheese flavor. The cheesy taste was immediate as soon as I chewed the cracker, and was bright like a Swiss. The key was, however, that as the cracker chew end, the flavor turned up that slightly tangy highway like a Swiss Cheese does. No other way to describe it – these crackers had that mild bright flavor of Swiss. Plain and simple.

But the entire experience was definitely helped by the actual texture of these crackers. They were pretty buttery, almost like a TownHouse crackers. They weren’t flaky like a Cheez-It, but that was ok. The soft slightly crispy texture of the cracker dough matched the mild flavor of the cheese perfectly.

I knew these were good, because even the JFGal ate some, and then started to describe them to me without prompting. She NEVER does that. After about 45 seconds of gushing, it became apparent to ME that Nabisco had a hit on their hands, as long as you’re one who likes Swiss Cheese.

So, if you are – go buy these. Now. I’m going to buy a couple more boxes of these and some Chicken in a Biskit Crackers this weekend and just put myself into a carb coma. Let’s do this.

PURCHASED AT: Walmart, Germantown, MD

COST: $1.98

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 39 Comments

  1. Jessica says:

    Most couples seem to go through an oblivious phase. They don’t care what people think about them – hormones have taken over.

  2. Radium says:

    Anyone who impedes the flow of foot traffic in any way should be crushed by elephants, or Donald Trump’s ego.

  3. Sophie says:

    you see, i work at a fast food restaurant front register (cashier or whatever you call it) i really can’t handle when couples order, their hands were all over each other, they were like kissing and touching, and you have to stand there wait for them to FINISH THEIR BUSINESS. i mean srsly, you guys can’t stay like 2 seconds away from each other?! just freaking order and go do whatever you wanna do but leave me out of it thank you for the free romance show but NO THANK YOU!

  4. Sophie says:

    oh and i forgot to mention, Eric you are as funny as usual, dude you are awesome, i mean, SERIOUSLY. how do you make each and everyone of your post so interesting and detail oriented is beyond my imagination. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! i will spread the words of course~

  5. Jeni says:

    These sound great! Missed opportunity: “Swisskit”.

  6. P. L. Isley says:

    “Now, if the people I saw WERE conjoined twins, then I apologize.” – Freaking hilarious. Great post!

  7. Marc P says:

    The last 2 are ridiculous but I have to admit being guilty of the first while we sat ahead of time waiting for the other couple to join us. But if it helps, we both felt like tools for that time period.

  8. Marc P says:

    and to add, these are completely FAIR if nd only if your names are Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski!

  9. Kelly says:

    My 13 year old and her best friend do the sharing earbuds thing when going on trips in the car. Anyone older than that or couples that aren’t girls and it enters the land of the strange….. I totally agree about the booth situation, to – I never understood that. I can add another – girls who want to snug right up to their man in the cab of a pickup.

  10. Angela says:

    Okay, I audibly said “ew” at #2.

    That aside, excited to see these crackers. I’m a big fan of “Chicken in a Biskit” so am happy they’re expanding the product line while maintaining the look and feel of the brand.

  11. Devin T. says:

    I feel like whenever someone says “Let’s do this” they now need to give credit to Home Depot (because of the commercials). So to your concluding statement: #HomeDepot #WeekdayWarrior

  12. Kahnfucius says:

    How dare you chastise a couple clearly binging on the dulcet tones of The Nosh Show.

  13. MP says:

    You’re schmoopie! No YOU’RE schmoopie!!!
    These people need to get a room. But don’t worry, they’ll be miserable soon enough.
    Naw, you’re right, JFG. People don’t know how to act in society anymore. The world is not their living room.

  14. Landshark says:

    I’m sure my husband and I have had some of these moments in the past, but we’ve pretty much left the conjoined twin crap. We’ll split to let people through. The booth thing is a never and the headphone thing is puzzling. If this is a frequent thing and not just a spur of the moment thing they wanted to hear once, at least get a headphone splitter! It’s weird, but it’s better than going mono.

    I’ll have to check these out. Nabisco just needs a ham cracker so we can make chicken cordon bleu in biskits (kidding, but the premise is interesting now that I think about it)

  15. Amber says:

    I swear those crackers have been out for years I remember eating them along with chicken in a biscuit, vegetable thins and better cheddars around fourth of july in the 90s

  16. Arvin Ossick says:

    Uh, guys. I think everyone has gone too far on this one. Lighten up.
    I think the people making these snarky comments either have noone
    themselves, which would easily explain it, or they have been with
    their now-insignificant other for so long that the only time they
    acknowledge their existence is telling them to get of the way so
    they can go to the can. The early, passionate phase of a romance
    is short enough as it is, no need for the scrooge attitude. When
    I see a couple like that, I think ‘if that makes you happy, then
    enjoy.’ Talk about sour and bitter, is that envy I smell?

  17. C. says:

    I see nothing much wrong in ‘barnacle-hull’ lovey-dovey couple habits. At least it makes sense; at least its something human and understandable.

    What is horrible, gruesome and hideous are couples who stroll or dine with each other while each person stares down at their mobile device, saying nothing. Insidious and baffling. Is there anything which could possibly be more disrespectful? These myrmidons should be dispatched to a slaughterhouse and removed from society.

  18. Jason says:

    Found these at Walmart yesterday and had to get them. They are delicious by themselves, but then I remembered I had some roast beef I had bought from the deli. Needless to say, deli roast beef on top of these is just incredible.

  19. Lance Rocke says:

    These Crackers are most definitely NOT new, they were out in the US when I was a young boy in the 80’s because my mother bought them all the time. I dislike the name that have now, they are simply Swiss Cheese crackers like they used to be, and here they were in a red box. I easily could have missed these when I found them in the store. They were real high on my list of discontinued foods I want back (I imported them a couple years ago from Canada and the quality control was nowhere near as good as it is here)

    Now if Keebler can bring back Cinnamon sugar chats tortilla chips, i will be happy again

    • Karen says:

      Yes, Swiss Cheese crackers were the BEST. I’m hoping these are the real deal. The ones from Canada were definitely not as good!

  20. Larry says:

    These crackers were around a loooooong time ago (they were just called Swiss crackers, and I used to devour boxes of these as a kid) and then Kraft discontinued them. Nice to see they are being brought back — and, unlike the Chicken variety, they haven’t messed with the old formula, because these still taste great.

  21. Jeremy Smallwood says:

    I have to say I was disappointed with these.

    I remember the Swiss Cheese crackers from Nabisco and those were great. These are not the same. I didn’t like these at all. I was hoping they tasted like the old crackers but I really don’t think they do.

  22. Miriam says:

    These Swiss cheese crackers are not nearly as good as the old ones. The taste is entirely different. I was very disappointed!

  23. Gracie says:

    I found the Swiss Biskit at my local Walmart before Christmas, it was like a present to myself! I loved these crackers way back, and I was not disappointed when I opened up the box, they where the same, thank you Nabisco!!!!! One point I would like to make is if this is just a promotional deal, the person that put up the display did not do it justice; it was put in the wrong area of the store and I am sure they would have done better closer to the cracker/snack isle. I looked on the shelf and there are none, and the display is down, so please consider bring these great snack crackers back on a permanent base, and talk to your people on proper displaying them.

  24. Ron Innis says:

    What the hell???? Bought them at Walmart, got totally hooked and then they stopped selling them!! Not cool, not cool at all!!!!!

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