Review: Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies & Thank you, Past Me / UGH, YOU SUCK, PAST ME
JFNation, this morning I had another one of those “angry-at-past-me” moments. You all know what I’m talking about. Sometimes you wake up, see the outfit on the ground that you need that day, and curse past-you for not remembering to launder it. You’ll go to brew some java and remember that past-you said, “Eh, I’ll buy coffee next time” at the grocery store or Starbucks. You wake up to a sink full of dishes because past-you preferred to watch Netflix all night. YOU SUCK, PAST-YOU.
Past-you or past-me can be helpful sometimes. Past-me will work really long hours at the office, knowing that future-me will be thankful for that work I put in. And you know what? It’s true – future-me/present-me gets to the office and thinks, “Man, I’m so glad past-me did all that sh*t yesterday.” Even as I’m slogging through a mountain of papers, I’ll constantly remind myself, “Future-me will appreciate this. Future-me BETTER appreciate this.”
But this morning was not one of those moments. This morning, present-me woke up with a stomachache, because past-me was up cramming these Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies into his gullet with reckless abandon. I usually try not to eat things before I go to bed, in order to (1) curb my gluttonous lifestyle, and (2) because I know that your sleep isn’t perfect when your body is trying to digest a bunch of crap while you’re trying to rest. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I didn’t care about that. All I cared about was jamming my fingers loaded with gummies as far into my mouth as possible. It was a glorious time. Past-me loved it.
Present-me? NOT SO HAPPY. It’s not even about the act itself – I’m an adult and can do whatever the hell I want. It’s that I woke up with a stomachache, and not even from something worth boasting, like, “Oh, I woke up feeling like crap because I ate three pizzas last night!” THAT would be impressive. No, I woke up with a stomachache from eating too much candy. What am I, eight years old? Past-me, you have issues.
What have YOU been mad at past-you about recently? Tell me in the comments below.
Today’s junk food: Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies!!
Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies aren’t super new as they came out last mouth, but when I saw these pop up I KNEW I HAD TO HAVE THEM. Why? Because I am a sour candy fanatic. I mean, I JUST talked about how I couldn’t stop stuffing them into my face. When it comes to Swedish Fish, Sour Patch Kids, Sour Gummy Fruits, those pink grapefruit slices, those orange/pink peach thingies, etc. etc. I AM ALL IN. Plus, Trader Joe’s venturing into this space? Thumbs up.
Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies are shaped like T’s and J’s (hence the art on the bag), and come in lemon, grapefruit, lime…
…and tangerine flavors. All citrus. I love other flavored gummies too – fruit punch, cherry, strawberry, etc., but I do love me some citrus gummies most of all. If they can capture that tang, I’ll love you forever, Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies.
I like that Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies SEEM to go a bit more natural than other gummies I’d eaten – no high fructose corn syrup, no artificial colors, and all natural flavors. That alone pushes these up the charts. Plus, ALL CANE SUGAR ALL THE TIME. Nice.
Going clockwise starting from red T, you can see all the flavors / color variations in these Trader Joe’s Sour Gummies. Red T = grapefruit. The orange J next to it? Tangerine. The slightly darker yellow/green sideways J and T next to that? Lime. And the lighter upside down T near the bottom of the frame? Lemon.
Texture wise? Less “chewy” than a gummy bear; the gumminess of these more resembled Sour Patch Kids – my teeth really sunk into them and they stuck to my teeth as I chewed. Which is not for some people, but I didn’t have a problem with it. Pure gummy goodness. Usually is a gummy does NOT stick my teeth, it indicates some sort of gum or other additive that prevents sticking. I prefer that sugar to stick all up in there. That’s how you know the gummy is LEGIT.
The flavors? The most spot on for me was the tangerine – bright and immediately recognizable with it’s unique tang. The lime was next – I’ve eaten plenty of limes in my life, and can distinguish it from lemon easily. This lime was correct in flavor, I definitely got that slight tart bite, although it could have been stronger. The lemon flavored gummies were more sweet, like a lemonade. The weakest was defintiely the grapefruit flavor…ruby red is probably what they were going for, and as I chewed three or four red pieces together, I COULD taste the grapefruit flavor, but it wasn’t bold and was definitely hidden by the sugar.
Overall, none of these were THAT sour, but they all had enough tart and tang to put them solidly in the “sour gummy” category. I REALLY liked them, despite my nitpicks – plenty of good fruit citrus flavor, a decent tang, semi-natural ingredients, and desirable texture. What’s not to love? NOW STOP EATING THEM, PAST-ME/PRESENT-ME. Future-me is gonna kick your ass.
PURCHASED AT: Trader Joe’s, Bethesda, MD
COST: $1.99 retail price
Junk Food Guy