Review: New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies & Wild White Nacho Doritos = White Whale, Costco = Ahab
Junk Food Nation, Happy Friday! Well, it would’ve been a Happy Friday if I hadn’t spent 2 HOURS waiting for the subway this morning. Yes, you heard me right, JFNation. TWO EFFING HOURS. What. The. Sh*t. Train after train of packed cars whizzed by as the Metro system tried (slowly) to re-correct passenger distribution after a malfunctioning train went down. One guy got so mad that he couldn’t get on the train he pounded the outside of one of the cars with his hand. The sound reverberated through the station as people (me and the JFGal) backed away. Crazy MF-er.
Anywho, quick story. Since starting this blog, there have been a few times when I’ve discussed junk foods that don’t exist anymore that I miss. Festivus ice cream, Hooplas – gone forever. One snack in particular was my white whale, a snack I remember loving and being disappointed it was gone: Wild White Nacho Doritos. These were a snack that was part of a 2006-2007 Doritos promotion where it went head to head with another flavor, Smokin’ BBQ Cheddar, and fans voted for which flavor they wanted to stay. Wild White Nacho lost. BOO.
The promotion, BTW, was called FIGHT FOR THE FLAVOR. TWO NEW FLAVORS. ONE SURVIVES. So dramatic, Doritos. This ain’t judgment day. Calm down.
Of course, this was way before this blog started and I didn’t realize that a contest was occurring. All I knew is that this flavor was here one day, gone the next. It was the first time I actually called around to grocery stores looking for this flavor. A Bloom grocery store in Rockville, MD told they had it… I drove out there and it wasn’t in stock. LIES. Incidentally, that store doesn’t exist now. YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED, LIARS.
Anyways why do I mention this? Because last night I got a tweet that Wild White Nacho is BACK. AT COSTCO. IN 30 OZ BAGS. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY.
— Eric Huang (@junkfoodguy) February 13, 2015
A photo posted by Taquitos.net (@taquitosdotnet) on
HOLY S. After scouring Twitter, I found out this was true, NOT A HOAX. I can’t explain how I feel – it’s like finding a favorite sweater you thought you lost as a child. Or maybe reconnecting with a lion you released into the wild years ago. COME HERE, SIMBA.
Of course, when I looked back on reviews others had written about the Wild White Nacho Doritos, apparently people were MEH on them. Most people said they tasted just like regular Doritos, just not-orange powder. WHA WHA WHAAA???? So I’m conflicted – what if I get these chips, try them, and find out that my memory was wrong? What if they’re not that good??? Well, whatever. I NEED TO FIND THESE. I will be on an epic-Costco-mission this weekend, I kid you not.
Today’s comment question is simple: 1) Are you as excited as me that these are back? 2) If you happen to find these in a Costco, where in the US are you? (Let’s triangulate these chips), and 3) If you voted for Smokin’ BBQ Cheddar back in the day, WHYYYYYYYYYYYY. Tell me in the comments below.
Today’s junk food: New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies!!
Back in Episode 46 of the Nosh Show, we discussed the three new flavors of Girl Scout Cookies this year: Trios, Toffee-tastic, and Rah-Rah-Raisin. The Nosh Show brethren and I agreed – we wanted to try the Trios (chocolate peanut butter oatmeal cookies) and the Toffee-tastic ookies, pictured above. They are both new gluten-free varieties, which was an interesting addition to the line.
Of course, when I talked to my local Girl Scout Cookie drug dealer, she informed me that the Trios were not available in my region. NOT AVAILABLE IN THE ENTIRE REGION???? WTF GIRL SCOUTS. Apparently the East Coast factory doesn’t make them? Not sure if this is true. But whatever – I was only able to get my hands on these New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies.
New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies are “Rich, buttery cookies with sweet crunchy toffee bits.” MMMMMM. That sounds good. I’ve been on a big toffee kick at Starbucks lately, so I say gimme more in all of my foods.
Wait…..EACH New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies is 70 calories??? So as much as a single Oreo…hooooooo-kay.
New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies are gluten free and contain rice flour, tapioca starch, brown rice flour, palm oil…all things for those who can’t eat wheat. I don’t mind gluten free things, so none of these ingredients alarmed me. The key, obviously, will be texture – could they execute these well?
So, each box of New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies comes with only ONE SLEEVE OF COOKIES. THAT’S sort of BS. Each cookie was about 1/4-inch thick, and there were 14 to a sleeve…but still! THIS BOX WAS FIVE DOLLARS, PEOPLE. I want more than 14 cookies for five bucks. These cookies better be DAMN GOOD.
So, were they? Were these New Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies damn good?
My review: Well…….they were pretty good. The flavor of the cookies was SUPER BUTTERY, so if you like Trefoils or Walker’s Shortbread, you’ll like these. The buttery cookie was flavorful and dense. The cookie itself, with all of the rice flours, was nice and crunchy – the non-wheat ingredients did, however, make the cookie crumble a little more than a normal wheat-flour cookie, and so the texture in my mouth was a bit gritty. I didn’t mind it, but basically this didn’t chew into a wad of dough like a bunch of saltines would – it just sort of came apart in a more gritty style.
But back to the flavor – super buttery cookie, with a good amount of sweetness. The toffee bits were decent in volume – not too few, and a decent balance throughout the cookie. The bits were a littkle sticky and I could feel them *almost* sticking to my teeth when I chewed, but the gritty cookie kept that from happening. The smell of the cookies was of a mild butterscotch, and the overall combination flavor of the combined butter cookie and toffee bits was sort of butterscotch-y too – pockets of flavor here and there as I chewed.
Overall? A good simple cookie, for sure. Didn’t change my life, and won’t replace Thin Mints or Samoas for me, but as a gluten free addition to the Girl Scout Cookie line, I give it a thumbs up.
PURCHASED AT: my cookie drug dealer
Junk Food Guy