Review: Brach’s Red Velvet Candy Corn, Picking the Backup QB’s Shirt, the Super Bowl, & Prop Bets

Junk Food Nation, it’s almost here. The Super Bowl. The Big Kahuna. The end of the NFL season. It all comes down to this. And I, for once, am actually sort of excited.

A few things contributed to my actual excitement for this game: like I described Wednesday, because of this DeflateGate nonsense, I’ve avoided almost ALL sports media for the past two weeks. Yeah I read articles here and there, and saw the Belichick “most boring SportsScience segment” press conference, but other than that, I’ve been football abstinent. So…I’m ready to get my football rocks off this weekend.

Second, this matchup of New England and Seattle is actually the matchup that I predicted would be most enjoyable; even beyond the many storylines surrounding these teams, it’s the two No. 1 seeds. That’s fun.

Third, I did catch this one silly bit on ESPN:

I wanted to hate it, but I found myself mesmerized by the less than one minute of ball-throwing action. Dude, Odell Beckham is sick. So that got my blood flowin’. Throw in (hopefully) fun commercials and a smokin’ hot Katy Perry, and this could be a very good Sunday. But first, I need your help on a few things:

HELP ME DESIGN THE BACKUP QB’S SHAME SHIRT:

Help me design the Backup QB’s shame shirt! Remember that season long bet I had with the Backup QB, where the loser had to wear this shirt at his Super Bowl Party? Well, much to my dismay, THAT SHIRT WAS SOLD OUT. Seriously. Like, apparently it was only a limited run a while back, and hasn’t been available for sale for a while now.  BS!

So, instead, when the Backup QB and I head to Vegas for the first round of March Madness (OH YEAH), he has agreed to wear a shirt of my design for one day out there. So, I NEED IDEAS, JFNation. Tell me them in the comments below: Should I make a shirt of Tom Brady riding a centaur Alex Rodriguez with the words “GRONKWICH” on it? Should it be a shirt with Josh Gordon that says LEGEND? Cmon, sports fans. Think of the most embarrassing semi-non-vulgar t-shirt ideas, and tell me them in the comments below.

ALRIGHT, SO LET’S GET TO THE SUPER BOWL:

The big game is finally here, and it’s likely to be a good one. Belichick versus Carroll. Old school versus new school. The veteran QB legend versus the rising star. Pocket presence versus read option. The famed offense versus the famed defense. Peanut butter and jelly. Hall and Oates. Beavis and Butthead. CAN YOU FEEL IT??

First, the Backup QB’s pick: “Seahawks +1 but not happy about it. Under 48 but not happy about it.” And *drumroll* I agree with the Backup QB. On a neutral field with no bad weather, the fact that the Pats are favored by 1 basically makes the game a pick’em. Both teams are well coached, so to win, Seattle/New England needs EVERYTHING to go right.

This means the Pats need to hit Edelman and Shane Vereen on those 5-6 yard crossing routes EARLY to keep the Seattle safeties honest. Once they start spreading out and backing up, pound Blount over and over up the middle. Eddie Lacy did it, and while he’s quicker than Blount, Blount takes the beating and keeps going.

On the flip side, Russell Wilson needs to find his rhythm with the receivers early too. Jermaine Kearse CANNOT go 1 for 6 again. We all say that when it’s ONLY Marshawn Lynch and Russell Wilson, that offense goes NO WHERE. Besides the series of lucky late game plays, Seattle beat GB because it started running the read option over and over…as a last resort. Those receivers need to get on point, QUICK.

In the end, I think it’s a low scoring game, as ball/clock control will be the name of the game, and both teams are good at it. Honestly, this may just come down to who has the ball first and last. I’m going to give Seattle (+1) the benefit of the doubt, and take them in a 20-17 victory.

WHAT ABOUT SUPER BOWL PROP BETS?

Oh yeah, prop bets! Some of my favorite bets of the year. Proposition bets are a gambler’s way of betting on anything and everything! Some sites out there let you bet on who will score the first TD (more traditional prop bet) to what color hoodie Bill Belichick will be wearing (clearly, camo). Here’s some of mine and the Backup QB’s picks this year:

No Safety in the game (-900) & Game will not end with a 7-point margin (-900) – Backup QB: “I actually really like No Safety at -900 and the game will not end in a 7 point margin, also at -900. Only 3-4% of games have safeties, per Bill Barnwell.  The only reason the odds are this good is that, randomly, 2 of the past 3 Super Bowls have had safeties (on the first score, no less!).  It’s capital-intensive, but think of it as a high-yield bond investment. For 7 point margin, ~7.5% of games end in a 7 point margin.  -900 implies 10% odds.  Also good value.”

Will Russell Wilson rush for two TDs? (14/1) – JFG: Wilson has six rushing TDs this year, to go with almost 850 rushing yards. I mean, he was basically a running back. I could DEFINITELY see him going for one TD during the game…and to catch 14/1 odds that he MIGHT score two? Is it really that far fetched if the Seahawks need the read option early? I’ll take it.

Will Bill Belichick smile during the game on camera? (Yes +180/No -180) – Backup QB: “I like Belichick to smile at any point in the game on camera at +180 (if they win the game, I think he’s doing it).”

How many times will “deflated” Balls be said during the game? (Over/under 3) – JFG: 3??? You’re joking, right? The term DeflateGate has used twice in this post! No, it’s true – the commentators will try to keep the game about the game, not the media hype. But sideline reporters? Casual mentions? HOW IS THIS NOT HIGHER? Over all the way.

First Katy Perry Song – Backup QB: “Interestingly, Dark Horse started as a much higher long shot for first song of Katy Perry’s set.  I don’t like it at 5/2.”

What will Katy Perry be wearing when she begins the Halftime show? Pants below knees (+450), Shorts above knees (+250), Skirt or Dress (-300) – JFG: Dude, Katy Perry is gonna start out wearing, like, and Eskimo Suit, and by the end of the halftime number she’ll be wearing a football jersey print bikini. Wait, was I just describing my dreams outloud again? I’d take a flyer on Pants below knees. Why isn’t there a robe/coat suggestion? That chick loves to wearing robes on stage.

So there you have it – the end of my long Super Bowl sports rambling. Help me out in the comments below, Junk Food Nation. Give me your game pick, tell me about some prop bets you find interesting, what do you think should go on the BQB’s Vegas Shirt? I wanna hear it ALL.

Today’s junk food: Brach’s Red Velvet Candy Corn!!

Brach's Red Velvet Candy Corn: The Money Shot

Brach’s Red Velvet Candy Corn: The Money Shot

Oh, Brach’s. You love churning out candy that catches my eye, don’t you? And now you’ve gone and made Brach’s Red Velvet Candy Corn. This will be my third Red Velvet product review of my past four reviews. Dude. My insides are all red dye now.

Let’s do some photos and get right to the review, shall we?

Brach's Red Velvet Candy Corn

Brach's Red Velvet Candy Corn

Brach's Red Velvet Candy Corn

Brach's Red Velvet Candy Corn

Brach's Red Velvet Candy Corn

I opened the bag of Brach’s Red Velvet Candy Corn and sniffed…and it basically smelled like a bag of chocolate candy corn. Cocoa aroma, and distinct candy corn sugary smell. No cream cheese whiffs.

I popped two into my mouth and chewed with my eyes closed to see if I could REALLY tell whether this was red velvet…and the answer is: sort of. Primarily, this candy tasted like chocolate candy corn – very sweet, cocoa flavor. As the candy corn flavor emerged, I wanted to twist it in my brain to fill the void of where the cream cheese icing flavor usually was…but it didn’t work. The strong flavor of candy corn was too sweet. It never hit that tang that I wanted. While the candy corn could have been imagined as “icing” or “frosting” flavored, I didn’t get the red velvet flavor I wanted.

These didn’t taste bad of course – a solid chocolate candy corn through and through. And some of you from the South have reiterated to me over and over that red velvet doesn’t HAVE to have cream cheese flavor, since it’s often frosted with buttercream. Yeah, I get it. But if Im going to have red velvet, I WANT the cream cheese flavor. And this didn’t have it.

So yeah – tasted good for lovers of chocolate candy corn, but otherwise nothing special or particularly Red Velvet.

So that’s it. Enjoy the weekend and the game everyone! And be sure to follow me on Twitter during the Super Bowl – I’ll be tweeting away happily!

PURCHASED AT: Target, Germantown, MD

COST: $2.50

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 7 Comments

  1. Heather says:

    I was born and raised in the South, but my grandma always made red velvet with cream cheese icing. To me, using buttercream on a red velvet cake is like using Chips Ahoy! instead of Oreos for something that’s cookies and cream. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. 😉 I definitely expect that tang if something says red velvet. I’m not a huge fan of the chocolate varieties of candy corn, but I may give these a try out of curiosity.

  2. Jamie says:

    hmmm….. a picture of Tom B with his haircut at the press conference? that was some serious bed head – kinda embarrassing, right?
    I have no idea…. anything that had TB on a shirt would be embarrassing to me.

    if they lose the superbowl, you can have seahawk L.O.B laughing at him or something.
    you mad bro? 🙂
    that isn’t embarrassing, that is just gloating. NEVER MIND

  3. Jeni says:

    You know, despite whatever frosting people use traditionally, cream cheese is strongly associated with red velvet. Even if it weren’t, the cake itself usually contains vinegar or buttermilk that helps give it that distinct tangy flavor. Sounds like these candy corn miss that mark. BUT, I love candy corn, so these are worth trying to me.

    On the t-shirt: I am no football expert, so I can’t really contribute there. My only suggestion: My Little Pony, man.

  4. alek says:

    I think that Red Velvet is now getting outta of hand. We need to stop the madness! By the way there is rumors swirling that Oreos is going make smores flavor.

  5. JohnnyP says:

    If you want to stick to TB there’s that Tom Brady holding a goat picture or Tom Brady in uniform with photoshopped Uggs with “Ugg life’.

    Otherwise I think there has to be a good one using both Manziel and Gordon.

  6. I feel like SEA is going to try to abuse Browner (given the alternative, wouldn’t you?), which is promising given the fact that he’d probably be flagged on every play, but then again it’s not like NE doesn’t expect that.

    Doesn’t it seem like the Pats should attack Sherman (and his bad arm) with Gronk early and often? As in try to force that matchup? Don’t even bother going deep, run him up 4 yards wide and make Sherman (and his bad arm) tackle a fired up Gronk. 3 or 4 times on the first drive.

    Does Wilfork have one more big game in him? I haven’t seen him take over a game in a long time. If he can find one more and single-handedly disrupt the running game, freeing up Hightower and Collins to make plays, I’m not sure what SEA can accomplish. I’m pretty sure NE’s secondary is better than GB’s, and they couldn’t do squat against GB (in their own house) until GB inexplicably stopped playing. Or SEA could overachieve and make a few plays…NYG did against NE…albeit a much weaker NE secondary. We’ll see I guess.

    Now then…where are the s’more Oreos?

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