Review: Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts, The Tesla’s INSANE MODE, & Marshawn Lynch Is A Clown

Junk Food Nation, it’s “Super Bowl week,” which means I’ve been avoiding all media coverage of sports. Seriously. I like in-depth coverage (e.g., I really enjoyed the coaches’ feed during the College Football Playoff championship game) but this round the clock coverage of absolutely NOTHING on ESPN and NFL networks – YUCK. I turned on ESPN to watch Around the Horn yesterday for the first time in like two weeks, and promptly turned it off. The inane yammering gave me a headache immediately.

Still, since I look at ESPN.com at least once every day, I do catch small tidbits here and there. My favorite sound bite: Marshawn Lynch’s

My opinion has always been that I don’t care that Lynch doesn’t like to talk to media, because I think listening to athlete press conferences is a waste of time anyways. I don’t care what Lebron thinks of DeflateGate. I don’t care what Tom Brady thinks about his legacy. Even as a huge sports fan, I like to watch games first, HOT TAKES / idiot commentary second, and waaaay down the list athlete quotes / press conferences. Unless you’re asking them about what junk food they like. I could read that all day long.

Second story I’ve enjoyed recently: people experiencing the new INSANE MODE of the Tesla S P85D. Apparently, this electric car can go from 0 to 60 in THREE SECONDS.  WHAAAAAAA: Check it out here:

If an electric car can do that, I can only assume it’s because a nuclear explosion is occurring under the hood. Can we make sure that a hole isn’t being ripped in the space-time continuum every time INSANE MODE gets triggered? Is this how warp speed is discovered, Star Trek fans?

By the way, if you want to see the non-bleeped version of this video, go here. Listening to the older woman drop “sh*t” over and over still brings a smile to my face.

What do you think about Marshawn Lynch or the INSANE MODE on the Tesla? Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts!!

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts: The Money Shot

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts: The Money Shot

Throw another twig on the red velvet wildfire sweeping the nation. I’ve enjoyed many a Tastykake donut through the years, and now they have Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts. These were sent to me this week, fresh off of my gushing about the Red Velvet Oreos.

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts are powdered on the outside, and apparently blood red on the inside. Almost TOO red…

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts have lots and lots of ingredients.  I see cocoa…but where does the cream cheese frosting flavor come from? Unsure.

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO It’s always fun to open these bags though. These Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts are tiny life preservers of baked goodness. With bloody red insides.

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts

I smelled one of these Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts, and I really couldn’t ascertain any cream cheese aroma…it smelled just like a normal powdered donut. Nice and sweet, but nothing distinct yet. Hm.

Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donuts

I popped an entire Limited Edition Tastykake Red Velvet Mini Donut into my mouth and chewed. DELICIOUS. But….drumroll…I could not taste any red velvet!!  *sad trombone*

Look, this is not a knock against Tastykake – love the brand. But basically this tasted like one of their normal powdered donuts. Which, to be clear, is not a BAD thing – but it didn’t taste like red velvet to me. As I sat chewing, the powdered sugar really overwhelmed whatever flavor the donut had. I could sort of taste a cocoa flavor to the donut, but honestly I wasn’t sure. If you’re going to claim red velvet flavor, I want to taste it IMMEDIATELY. This did not have it. Sad.

These did taste good, however, as a general powdered donut. Moreover, the insides WERE a wonderful bloody red, so this has fun factor written all over it. So, if that’s what you’re looking for, you’ll like these. But red velvet this was not.

PURCHASED AT: Sent to me

COST: Unsure, but the bag unit price was $4.78

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 19 Comments

  1. Jessica says:

    For some reason, Red Velvet doesn’t translate well to donuts. Dunkin’s version wasn’t bad, but I’ve had a few others from local joints and they just don’t work.

  2. Monica says:

    I agree! Just tasted like a regular powdered donut. The salted caramel variety, on the other hand, is fabulous.

  3. Jamie says:

    so I just saw the red velvet tea *spotted* on impulsive buy… you can dunk these suckers and maybe it would somehow taste like Red velvet??? power of more RV must make it a bit better!
    I don’t get it, like I said about the tea, unless there is cream cheese how is this a red velvet? and not just a random donut with a bottle of red dye?

    Marshawn, well he did have a good skittles press conference. I am sad they never released the seattle mix!

  4. JohnnyP says:

    Maybe non-fat milk solids is supposed to be the cream cheese taste

    I personally don’t really care what athletes have to say at pressers. Marshawn doesn’t speak well so it’s no big deal if he answers any of these guy’s anyway. The only thing is that by not speaking and using one line over and over again, he is just making himself more popular with the reporters because now it’s a big joke to see what he’s going to do next. Kind of backfiring on him now in a way. I think he should just give boring answers that nobody want’s to hear about. That’ll get the media off his back

  5. alek says:

    Red velvet is getting out of hand now it is in teas! OH MY GOD!

  6. Dr. Stanley Goodspeed says:

    But would Marshawn say anything if he experienced INSANE mode with a media scrum in the back seat? Only one way to find out…

  7. danny says:

    Hey, great review as always. Anyways, i was curious what grocery store are you usually able to get all of the seasonal items from? I know you said these ones were sent to you, but I often have a hard time finding a good deal of seasonal foods. My grocery store isn’t a big chain store, so i think that may be why they don’t get a lot of the seasonal items. Do you try to go to the big chains, like Target and Walmart?

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Danny: Thanks man. I try to put at the bottom of each review where I bought the product. Honestly, most of the time it’s Target or Walmart

  8. Kaitlyn says:

    i keep seeing tastykake’s salted caramel donuts at the store.. and i need to know if i should splurge on them. have you tried them?

  9. Shorneys says:

    Expecting red velvet to taste different from regular donuts is like insisting that red M&Ms taste better than the other ones. IT’S A GODDAMN FOOD DYE, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

    In its most classic form, red velvet will probably taste worse than its regular chocolate counterpart, because it’s made to cover up substandard cocoa powder with the delightfully shitty flavor of beet juice. But in commercially made baked goods, that red velvet is nothing more than dye. So it’s a testament to the power of marketing that the “flavor” (if you can call it that) is so stupidly popular.

  10. ruckus says:

    I’m just here so I won’t get fined

  11. shauna says:

    These red velvet doughnuts were terrible!!!!! I seriously agree with you 100%. I did not enjoy anything about them aand I live all that they makev……very disappointed with this recipe and think they should take another look at it. they were flavorless, dry, did not taste anything like cream cheese and did remind me of my favorite cake of all time please tasty kakes make another one that is tasty or you won’t have me purchasing any of them …….much love and respect, shauna

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