Review: Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos & Throwing Things Out of Car Windows? What Are You, A Maniac?

Well, hello, Junk Food Nation. You’re either here as a normal consumer of this blog, or you’re here because Google brought you here. Welcome. Sit. Here, have a beer. And a donut. Oh yeah, you like donuts, don’t you. Yes, yes you do.

Before we get into the Red Velvet Oreo review, I have a question for you, Nation – do you ever throw things out of your car window? And follow up question – are you a maniac? I bring this up because I was reading Deadspin the other day, and saw this letter as part of Drew Magary’s Funbag:

Eric: I live in L.A. and have a decent commute. Along the way, I like to enjoy a banana. Typically, I’ll throw the peel in a planted median full of bushes.

For the second time now, I’ve been beeped at for littering. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. Am I destroying the fragile L.A. ecosystem with my biodegradable banana peels?

I should also note that I consider myself an environmentalist.

Note: That is NOT ME that wrote that letter, despite the name.

Anyways, Magary poked fun at the dude, joking that the peel could lead to a world disaster, but MY first reaction was WTF DUDE UR AN A$$HOLE. You throw empty banana peels out of your car window on the highway???? Am I the ONLY one that finds this CRAZY?

Look, I get that this dude feels like throwing the banana peels into bushes is “helping” the Earth, but as someone who ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS THE SCENE OF COMPOSTING, you can’t just throw that sh*t wherever you feel like, jerk! This ain’t Narnia, where you throw an empty peach pit, and all of a sudden a luscious tree will spring up. That banana peel draws bugs, bears, etc.

I guess throwing a banana peel out of the car is better than the alternative. I dated a girl once who often spit gum out the window. I have cigarette flicking friends, and I once knew a guy who would routinely throw empty fast food wrappers out the window…yeah, I’m not friends with that guy anymore. But still – I dunno, I find throwing anything out of the car window SUPER OFF PUTTING.

So am I crazy, Junk Food Nation? Tell me in the comments below. And while you’re at it, if YOU routinely throw something out of the car window, what? I’m curious to know where the line is drawn for you. YOU MONSTER.

Today’s junk food: LIMITED EDITION RED VELVET OREOS!!

A couple days ago, reports of these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos getting passed around early ahead of their February 2 release started popping up. What the – HOW DID I NOT HAVE THESE IN MY HANDS ALREADY?? I shook down my Oreo-dealer, who let me know they were coming to me via mail.  And yesterday, the package arrived…

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

GREAT ODIN’S BEARD. Wrapped in red tissue paper, the presentation of these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos was spot on. Like I was unwrapping some sexy lingerie. Except less silk and lace, more high fructose corn syrup and enriched flour. YOU’RE TREMBLING, RED VELVET OREOS. DON’T WORRY, YOU’RE SAFE HERE.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

Back in October, images were released of these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos, and the internet semi-exploded. We discussed them over on the Nosh Show. And now, here they were, in my hands…

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

…AND YOU BROUGHT A FRIEND. How nice, Red Velvet Oreos. We’ll make you both comfortable.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos: The Money Shot

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos: The Money Shot

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos! Here they are, in full glory. Now, as I mentioned on the McIntyre in the Morning Show on KABC Radio yesterday (47:13 mark!), the reason this cookie is so exciting is because it marks the first time Oreo has actually changed the COOKIE, not just the flavor of the creme.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

The problem with some of the other Oreo flavors has been that, well, you’re trying to jam this weird flavor into a Golden or Chocolate Oreo, while the flavor might not pair JUST RIGHT.  While I loved the Gingerbread Oreos, and find them pretty flawless – imagine if the cookie was ALSO gingerbread cookie? EXPAND YOUR MIND. Anyways, these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos have done just that – Red Velvet Cookie with Cream Cheese Frosting Creme. If this is done right, what else could be coming in the future?

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos are 70 calories each…

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

…and contain a whole bunch of stuff commonly found in Oreos. A friend of mine loves Oreos because they are vegan…but are these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos vegan? I don’t know what I’m looking for in this ingredient list. They certainly LOOK vegan – I don’t see any actual cream cheese anywhere.

So yeah, vegan. Let’s go with that until someone complains.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

The Junk Food Gal is my in-house expert on Red Velvet, so I had HER take the first sniff of these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos. Opening the package, she sniffed and let out an approving MMMM. I smelled them myself; they did, indeed, smell distinctly red velvet-y. It wasn’t just the cocoa smell – they smelled a little more chocolaty than regular Oreos – it was more that my nose picked up a distinct sour (in a good way) tang of the cream cheese creme.  The aroma didn’t POUR out of the package like it did with Birthday Cake Oreos, but these REALLY smelled like Red Velvet.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos are tinted reddish, although to be fair, my lighting might’ve been punched up the red more than usual. Even in poor lighting, however, there’s no mistaking the reddish hue of these cookies.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

I twisted open one of these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos; the creme inside looked pretty standard. Those are just red crumbs pulled off of the cookie – this wasn’t a speckled creme. I sniffed the creme – smelled slightly tangy, like I previously mentioned.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

Once one of these Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos was disassembled, I tasted the cookie first. It was light and crispy – fresh Oreos usually are, I didn’t notice anything in its texture that was truly different than regular Oreos. The flavor of the cookie was cocoa and definitely a bit sweeter than regular Chocolate Oreos. In regular Oreos, the chocolate cookie is usually a little bitter (in a good way) so that the creme can pull off that sugary contrast. Here, the cookie was a little sweeter (it still wasn’t super sweet), and indeed mimicked Red Velvet cake. It had a calm cocoa flavor and it tasted like crunchy cake. So, thumbs up on that.

The creme? DEFINITELY mimicked the cream cheese frosting commonly found on red velvet cake. Sweet, frosting-like, and had that distinct tang of cream cheese on the back end of the flavor. You know, that’s really all anyone needs to do to get the flavor right on ANY red velvet product – just get that cream cheese tang right. These got it right. VERY sweet.

Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos

Eaten together? YES. YES YES YES. These Limited Edition Red Velvet Oreos tasted like a 99% spot on version of Red Velvet cake in cookie form. The combo of cream cheese creme and the red velvet cookie was pretty perfect – the flavor scientists got this one RIGHT. Good balance between the cake flavor and the creme flavor. Like real red velvet cake, the round cocoa flavored was highlighted by the zing of the creme. That remaining 1% I withheld only because *I* associate a soft lush texture with red velvet cake, and these were obviously crunchy. Still, that doesn’t make these any less than 100% NOM NOM.

When these come out on February 2, GET THEM. LOVE THEM. WINE AND DINE THEM. You’ll be thankful.

EDIT/UPDATE 10:02am: OH YEAH. And the Junk Food Gal, unable to speak from chewing, gave these two thumbs up as well!

PURCHASED AT: Hitting shelves NATIONWIDE on February 2. That’s in eleven (11) days, people.

COST: Sent to me, but I’m sure they’ll be anywhere from $3 – $4 a pack.

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 37 Comments

  1. Jessica says:

    I too eat bananas on the way to work. And I have a napkin on the seat next to me and dispose of the peel when I get there.

    I have a feeling I will be buying every store out of these once they hit the shelves. Two of my vices combined!

  2. Jeni says:

    These sound awesome! As you pointed out, the key is the tangy cream cheese. Definitely gonna nosh ’em.

    As for the litter, I have (maybe twice?) tossed an apple core or banana peel into the woods on a rural road trip. I don’t make a habit of it, and I’d never throw anything else.

  3. Heather Molina says:

    I want those in my mouth now!

    As for the litter–can’t stand it. How hard is it to throw things away when you get to your destination?

  4. Kaitlyn says:

    first of all, throwing anything out of your window is littering. so no, i definitely do not litter! not only is it inconsiderate, disrespectful, and wrong.. it’s illegal.

    do you think these would be better as a an oreo cakester? do they still make those? lol

  5. MP says:

    How did the Earth ever survive before we had anti-littering laws???
    It’s one thing to be throwing old refrigerators out the window onto the highway like it’s 1970s Michigan, but degradable food is fine. Some animal or bird may come along & eat it. It’s a big world out there. I spit out the window, but I do it on roads where nobody will walk into it. No, I don’t throw trash out the window. But I also have a strict no beverage rule in my car – I spent 14 hours cleaning out all the coffee stains my friends made.

  6. Indigo says:

    Banana peels dry up into something that looks like a giant dead spider. Throwing anything at all out a car window is unsafe and disgusting. When I was younger I would occasionally fling an apple core out the window. Then I grew up.

  7. MKC says:

    I too have thrown apple cores out the car window on occasion. I figured some animal would come along and eat it. Now my biggest out-the-window no-no is throwing bits of french fry to the birds when I’m eating lunch in my car. They don’t have a problem gobbling it down immediately.

  8. Kahnfucius says:

    I just assume all those banana peels are there to make coyotes slip as they chase roadrunners down highway medians.

    As to the cookies: are they dunkable in milk? It’s not something I would normally think of with red velvet cake on its own.

  9. Beeb says:

    I admit that on a super rare occassion I have thrown out my window a straw wrapper; but rarely. My husband has been known to spit out his gum and it drives me ape shit crazy; because I HATE STEPPING ON GUM!!!!

    On to the Red Velvet Oreos….I MUST HAVE THESE!!! Most red velvet stuff goes wrong and I quit tyring the various concoctions years ago. But these sound good

  10. alek says:

    I remember on the way to camp I threw a skittles wrapper out of the camp van. I threw the wrapper on the New York State Thruway. I watched it fly away and thought it was cool. I was only 15 years old at that time.

  11. Yeah, I scolded a passenger in my car once for throwing an apple core out of the window. “It’s biodegradable!” he reasoned. My retort – “We’re on the highway! The world is not your compost heap!”

    Banana peel guy is littering, plain and simple. If he really thinks he’s helping the environment, he’s as delusional as they come. That peel is going to attract rats and rodents before it dissolves into anything useful.

    Though there’s also this point of view – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTH8htzsrX4

  12. JohnnyP says:

    Yeah the banana peel thing, that’s littering for sure. Sometimes when it’s windy out something like a receipt or a paper will get taken from me and blown away and I do not usually chase it like a crazy person.Though I’m sure I’ve done it without thinking before.

    Back a few years ago in college I had to river clean-ups as part of fraternity volunteer service hours and after I saw/picked up all that trash, I’ve tried my best to never do it again. If you’ve never seen how much garbage accumulates near the river, it’s an eye opener. Especially how much that homeless people collect and leave under bridges.

  13. alek says:

    I just got the email that I won the free oreos. Can’t wait to try it out.

  14. Roscoe says:

    Hey JFG! Was wondering who you thought made the better red velvet cookie, Keebler or Nabisco?

  15. ruckus says:

    Maybe I’m odd.

    Sometimes at night when my poodle is sleeping and I don’t want the toilet to wake her up I’ll go into my yard and pee on a tree. Pee is mostly water and nitrogen so I figure the tree probably appreciates it.

    And under the starlight peeing I feel close to the tree. Like we have a symbiotic moment… I pee on you and you release oxygen for me to breathe…

    heh – happiness is where you find it I suppose

    OH and what this has to do with throwing degradable trash out your window – unless you’ve taken a moment to pee on the median first, its probably just laziness.

    • Shari says:

      Wow, I just laughed so hard, I almost spit wine out my nose. That sounded like something Homer Simpson would say.

  16. Bobcatsteph3 says:

    I very much look forward to the Red Velvet Oreos.

    I CANNOT STAND LITTERING! The quote above “then I grew up” is dead on, when you know better, you do better. Our beaches, forests, national parks, rivers, are all negatively affected by people who think “it’s just a straw wrapper, apple core, banana peel, etc.”

    We live across the street from a golf course that dumb ass people enjoy using as a trash can for their beer bottles, fast food wrappers, etc. If one of my dogs found a rotten apple core I’d be mortified. There are deer, rabbits, groundhogs, squirrels, birds, etc. there that can be killed by people who don’t think.

    I wish more places would be on board with recycling and composting, I often bring recyclables back home rather than trash them. I’ll stop ranting now, this topic truly irks me with how ignorant people continue to be.

  17. Kelsey says:

    How do these compare with the red velvet keebler cookies?

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Kelsey – I liked the Oreos better – the Keebler were good but had a bit of waxiness to the creme part. These didn’t have that.

  18. Michael says:

    I hear in the south, Red Velvet is actually frosted with buttercream, not cream cheese.

  19. Elisa says:

    You’re setting yourself up to get pulled over and ticketed by police for tossing stuff out the window…

  20. runinboise says:

    I moved from Boise to a po’dunk hillbilly farm town. I don’t throw stuff out my windows, but I appreciate those who do. When I run, walk, or bike around town, it’s only a few square miles big, I pick up those cans and “get paid” to get some workout in. I’m “sponsored” by garbage. 😉

  21. TehBuLL says:

    Yeah, the important thing to remember is that in the city there isn’t “some animal” that will enjoy the discarded food item. It is usually a very specific animal called a rat. Full of disease, pestilence and bad times. Better to ship it out to the country side and let them deal with it.

  22. Lisa Benesh (Cannarella) says:

    I often eat in the car and keep a plastic bag to collect waste. However, I don’t eat the yellow of my harboiled eggs- so I once threw the yolk out the window because it would smell bad if I kept it in the car. It was a long trip on the thruway. I did feel bad that it may attract an animal- so there isy confession.
    Looking forward to the new Oreos!

  23. Jason says:

    Banana peels are perfectly acceptable to be thrown out the window while driving! I have done it plenty of times! I also throw gum out the window. My best friend jokes that animals will get stuck in the gum but I highly doubt that is happening. 🙂

  24. Jes says:

    Finally Oreo changed the cookie . I wonder how Oreo truffles with these cookies would be ? Also on another note are you attending the fancy foods show this summer . Because I might be there ,yay !!

  25. Shashawnee says:

    I did it. It was so worth it. All the pain I’m going through from ingesting that many cookies at 6am…and then a banana to balance the behavior, all worth it. Thanks JunkFoodGuy. I’ll keep checking you out for my next bad (but great) decision.

    Happy February my friend!

  26. Shashawnee says:

    @JunkFoodGuy – At Walmart (on my first try). I live in the Southeast where there’s a Publix supermarket and they were not yet on board.

  27. Tim says:

    Throw what you want out the car window might as well
    See something for the outrageous taxes I pay let the union
    Private sector earn there overtime they book anyway

  28. Kahnfucius says:

    Nice write-up in the Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/thanks-to-oreos-red-velvet-isnt-just-for-cupcakes-anymore/2015/02/08/c11d5878-aefc-11e4-9c91-e9d2f9fde644_story.html

    Though I am surpised that you didn’t connect the surge in limited edition and wacky-flavor combos to the start of this blog: they are all doing this to get their products reviewed here (and by proxy in WaPo and various radio stations across the country).

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