Review: New Starburst Superfruit & 1000th Post! (I Think), Other Quick Stories (Pizza, Cancelling Tickets, Arod, Invisible Girlfriend)

GOOD MORNING, Junk Food Nation! According to my WordPress portal that I still barely understand, I have 999 posts published, which makes today my 1000TH POST!  WOOOOOO! BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE AND SALT AND VINEGAR POTATO CHIPS! No, seriously, break ‘em out. Have you ever paired those two things? MAGICAL.

In all seriousness, it’s mind boggling to me that I’ve had something to say on 1000 different days over the past 3.5 years of this blog. It’s MORE amazing to me that you guys actually read this blog and haven’t abandoned me yet. You guys must really love Oreos or something. But thank you for sticking around, JFNation. Let’s get to some quick stories:

1. It never fails – as SOON as I announce that my New Year’s Resolution this year is to eat more pizza, scientists name pizza as one of the main causes of childhood obesity. Well, crap. Reading deeper, the article is more about bad parenting and the study goes on to say that on days when pizza is eaten, it comprises anywhere from 22%-26% of the day’s calories. Now, is it just me, or does that percentage completely bizarre? Look, I’m not trying to be a pig here, but when I was teen eating pizza, I could polish off…7-8 slices? Let’s say that’s an average of ~2600 calories.  If THAT is 26% of your daily calories, and your kid is eating 10,000 calories a day??????? Well, then maybe the study’s focus on bad parenting is correct…feed you kids a piece of fruit, once in a while, you animals. One isn’t meant to subsist on cane syrup and bacon lard alone.

2. One story I caught relating to this weekend’s surprise upset of the Packers by the Seahawks was this woman who, with three minutes left in the game, gave up on the possibility of the Seahawks making the Super Bowl and cancelled her pre-purchased tickets to Arizona via her cellphone. Then, one minute later, after Marshawn Lynch made a big play, she rebooked her flight, for $40 more, via her cellphone. The article notes that the lesson was “Never lose faith until the final whistle.” Um, that is NOT the lesson. The moral of this story was that she’s a maniac who makes knee jerk decisions frequently and should be avoided at all costs. You can’t even WAIT until you get home in front of a computer before you cancel your flight? Maybe read the penalty policy, or take a poop and chill out after the game? No? You have to load your Kayak app immediately after a shaky play in the secondary and reverse course? Do me a favor – avoid her on the flight to Arizona. She might feel a rattle, assume the plane isn’t going to make it, and jump out the emergency exit.

3. Of all the people Alex Rodriguez could be training with in the offseason…Barry Bonds? I’m gonna leave this story right here.

4. As noted to me by my friend Rob, now you can create and Invisible Girlfriend or Invisible Boyfriend via this service. For $25 you get 100 text messages, 10 voice mails, one handwritten note, all sent to you. Apparently, the creator made this “when he was going through a divorce and was sick of people bugging him about whether he had met someone new.” So, naturally, rather than address those concerns head on, HE CREATED A FAKE SIGNIFICANT OTHER FOR HIMSELF! YAY DENIAL!

Seriously, though, WTF. Paying to get catfished? This is a thing now?

What do you think of any of the stories above? Let me know in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: New Starburst Superfruit!

New Starburst Superfruit: The Money Shot

New Starburst Superfruit: The Money Shot

I first spotted this New Starburst Superfruit over on The Impulsive Buy, and my first thought was “Superfruit? Really?” In my every day life, I actually love superfruits, and I do have a semi-belief in the extra anti-oxidants, elixir of life, mana – whatever it is they provide. But…this is candy. You can’t have superfruits in CANDY…can you?

New Starburst Superfruit

New Starburst Superfruit uses pomegranate, passionfruit, acai, and…starfruit? Wait, STARFRUIT? This thing? Starfruit is a superfruit?? Since when. Really?

New Starburst Superfruit

New Starburst Superfruit

Hmmmm…..I don’t think there are any health benefits to these New Starburst Superfruit…

New Starburst Superfruit

Pretty wrappers. Let’s get to the reviews of these New Starburst Superfruit:

PASSIONFRUIT PUNCH: I began by sucking on this one, and while I did get a heavy general Fruit Punch flavor, I was able to pick out a faint taste of familiar passionfruit.  It was hidden pretty well since the tang of the fruit punch blanketed everything, but on the edges and on the back of my tongue was a TINY bit of passionfruit. Certainly not enough to make me taste it immediately. Overall, this one tasted like fruit punch…as I chewed, I got a little bit of passionfruit here and there. Lost opportunity with this one – Starburst should’ve punched the passionfruit up a bit. Tasted good, but could’ve been much much more.

RASPBERRY POMEGRANATE: The easiest flavor to eat, I think, was this one. As soon as I put the candy into my mouth, the flavor of the raspberry (artificial as it was) came through. Then, as I sucked on the candy more, the backend is where the flavor of the more tart and more cran-like pomegranate juice came out. The aftertaste, to me, was more pom than raspberry. The pairing went really well together, as I could trick myself into tasting one over the other.  Really good – but honestly, not that hard to pull off.

New Starburst Superfruit

STRAWBERRY STARFRUIT: Admission – I have no idea what starfruit is supposed to taste like. I’ve EATEN starfruit before, but not in a long while, and I don’t remember what it tasted like. So, when I eat this, this tastes just like your normal strawberry Starburst…a little creamy. So…yeah. Since I imagine many people have no idea what starfruit tastes  like, so this review is unhelpful anyways. Moving on.

BLUEBERRY ACAI: A common pairing of two fruits. I’ve had acai before in drinks, so I have an idea of what it tastes like as compared to a blueberry. Still, I’ve never, like, munched on a acai berry alone though. Still, whenever I’ve had them in drinks or smoothies,  the strange tartness and weird bite of acai was noticeable. In this candy, I sucked and sucked, and didn’t quite get the same bite. I did taste what I thought was acai, however. It paired well against the milder, almost blueberry-yogurt-like flavor of the blueberry. Together…not bad.

All in all, these Starburst Superfruit weren’t bad – very sugary, and very tasty – but I don’t think the superfruit flavor distinguished itself enough to warrant a re-buy from me. I felt the same about these as regular Starburst.

PURCHASED AT: Target, Germantown, MD

COST: $2.00 on sale 

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.


Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 23 Comments

  1. MP says:

    Funny how these “scientists” go after soda pop, sports drinks & now pizza. I ate pizza every Saturday night growing up & I graduated high school at 6′ 4″ & 170 pounds. I also ate snacks every single day along with a can of soda pop, too. But the thing is, I actually went outside & played almost every day. I wasn’t sitting on my ass playing computer & videos games during daylight hours. I also had part-time jobs, too so I was moving around a lot.
    Pizza has been mainstream for at least 4 decades now. Suddenly childhood obesity has become a problem in the past 20 years. I blame shitty parents & shitty parenting. They don’t know how to eat right, or cook right, or are just too lazy to do the right thing & do the easy thing.
    Tho I will say, I was leafing through old McDonald’s advertisements on the web & noticed fries & soda portions were much, much smaller back in the 1970s -mid-1980s. People don’t need 20 ounces of soda or a pound of french fries. It’s just too much & unnecessary. Where has the common sense gone?

    • Michael says:

      Clearly choices in activity matter. But a part time job certainly doesn’t; that is just a misdirection.

      But I believe there are studies showing that the early stages of life set people up to be lean/obese and it is hard to break out of for a lot of people. And even when they do their body still won’t be that of a lean persons who can eat whatever they want naturally without a lot if changes to bacteria in their gut and metabolism etc.

  2. Jessica says:

    Granted, I have 2 active jobs (and a Fitbit to calculate how much I can eat) and lift weights, but twice last week dinner consisted of an entire Totino’s party pizza. Not that long ago I polished off 2 1/2 Little Ceasar’s personal pizzas (free at work). And I am not even 5’3″ and 125. The problem is parents are too effing afraid of concussions/scrapes/bruised egos to let their kids be active anymore. Not pizza,

    On that note…I’m a believer that all food provides calories which can be converted into energy…and therefore all foods have SOME health benefits. Even Starburst.

  3. alek says:

    Why they don’t attempt a mint variety of starburst?

  4. Marc P says:

    First, congrats on the 1K.
    Second, THANK you for actually giving me a lunchtime read that does not comment or center on Deflate-Gate.

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @MarcP: no problem. Honestly, there’s so many other takes on the Deflate-troversy, I REALLY didn’t want to add anything to the pile.

  5. Sarah says:

    Congratulations! 1000 is incredible….especially since your reviews are so detailed! If you think #4 is messed up, you need to watch black mirror on Netflix. I don’t remember which episode it was but take number four and times it by a thousand!

  6. Elisa says:

    I used to buy Starburst jellybeans a lot when I was in college. They were great munchies for me while doing papers for classes or watching TV.

  7. Krista says:

    Congratulations on the 1000th post! Looking forward to thousands more!

  8. Jamie says:

    congrats on the 1,000 post!

    and about the seahawks thing, I am from PNW, and maybe we have too much rain water in our veins. lol there were TONS of people who left the stadium early, then when interviewed on TV, they act like I BELIEVED! WOO SUPERBOWL!
    but um.. you left the stadium.. we are talking to you because you left early…
    YAH I LEFT because…. *idiots* only reason they stayed in the area and tried to get into the bars to see what happened, was because of the earth moving from all the noise from the stadium.

  9. Dr. Stanley Goodspeed says:

    Congrats on your first thousand! When you reach 2000 does the “OPEN AD WALLPAPER CURRENT 400 X 400 TILED” message get to say something else?

  10. Carrie says:

    Congrats on hitting your first 1,000! It is a fun read. How about Camp Fire Candy? They are selling now. Mint Patties, Carmel Clusters, Almond Roca, Pnuttles, Trail Mix and Mint Melt-a-ways…I know my favorites, but love to hear your comments.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Idea for 2016’s starburst variety: They need to bring back an old variety that has been discontinued (Baja California, Sweet Fiesta, Icy Bursts, etc)

  12. joe says:

    I have actually had starfruit. It does have a taste resembling a strawberry, but varying greatly on the individual fruit, it tastes sweeter or (slightly) more tart. Probably why the starfruit starburst tastes like strawberries.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Strawberry Starfruit was from tropical Skittles. I might try these soon, hoping they taste similar. Blueberry Acai is something I am really looking forward to trying since I like blue Starbursts. And I like raspberries and passionfruit too.

    When this mix was released, Very Berry was discontinued.
    R.I.P. Starburst Very Berry

  14. Nick says:

    I hope that our local stores sell the new flavors. I’m anxious to try them, but I don’t expect to see them in our city because the berry flavors seem to have been discontinued in our market. They suddenly disappeared, seemingly overnight, from the grocery shelves. The same holds true for the “summer treat” (can’t recall the name) flavors. By the way, it’s past time to sell grape and lime flavors in our market. They could throw them in a bag with pure banana and pure pineapple (strawberry need not be included this time). I think that “lime” was one of the original flavors when the candy first was sold in the UK. It seems like a no-brainer to sell it in the USA. As for grape, companies seem to treat it like some exotic fruit that’s hard to find anywhere on the globe.

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