Review: Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter & Clowns With Machetes OH HELL NAH

Junk Food Nation, Happy Day after Columbus Day!  And let’s talk about my living nightmare – apparently in the city of Bakersfield, some jokesters are running around at night carrying weapons…DRESSED AS CLOWNS.

Oh yes, you watched that correctly.  Even the still-frame for the video above is freaking me the F out.  If you’re one of these people dressed as a clown carrying a machete at night, KNOCK IT OFF.  Look, I have enough anxiety with my job and trying to decide which Doritos to eat next; I do NOT need a clown with no eyes walking slowly down Main Street carrying a pistol.  It’s all fun and games until I give you a swift kick to the nuts…while shrieking like a little girl.

And that is why these two videos are some of my favorite:

Yes. Just sayin’, Bakersfield clowns. I’ll have no hesitation taking a crowbar to your knees, dropping that crowbar, and then running flailing away at 100 MPH.  Hopefully not leaving too big a trail of pee behind me.

What do you think of the Bakersfield story? Not cool, right?  Or maybe you’re into it? Tell me in the comments below.

Today’s junk food: Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter!

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter: The Money Shot

OMG YES. Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter is in my clutches.  With other cookie butters like Biscoff and Trader Joe’s speculoos cookie butter gaining widespread popularity, it was only a matter of time before this came along.  Of course, the question is – would this be good or overly sweet?  I mean, the first thing you think when you look at this is “crushed Oreos” but I didn’t want it to be a jar of what essentially could be Duncan Hines frosting, you know?

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter: SPOON INTO MOUTH

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter hypes the fact that it could be eaten on anything.  Pancakes, waffles, toast, pretzels, ice cream?  I have to honest, I don’t really know what to do with this stuff EXCEPT to cram it right into my mouth with a spoon.  That’s how I eat Biscoff spread.  Sure I’m sure it tastes great on toast…but I never get that far.

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter: 210 cal per serving

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter: Oreo spread?

When I opened this jar of Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter, I immediately smelled…well, Oreos.  It did not smell SUPER chocolaty, but instead had that more dark, non-sweet Oreo smell.  I grabbed a spoon to dig in…

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter: THICK texture

…holy hell, this Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter was THICK.  This DEFINITELY was not frosting-like, and I dare say it was thicker than I remember regular cookie butter being.  It reminded me a lot of the same tug and pull that peanut butter does – when I tipped the spoon vertical, it clung to the spoon with no drip back down into the jar.

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter: Smooth with…

Placing the spoonful of Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter into my mouth, I immediately went WHOA and rushed to have the Junk Food Gal try a bite.  This stuff was pure GOLD. The basic description is that it, indeed, tasted like a jar full of crushed Oreos.  And I mean that in the best possible way – like a good cookie butter, this spoonful had a great texture.  Smooth enough that I could see myself spreading it on toast while sturdy enough to hold up on its own.

The flavor was not cloying or overtly sweet – the white parts of the cookie butter were not just pure creme.  I almost think the dark vs. white coloring was just for aesthetic – overall, the sweetness was perfectly balanced and the whole thing tasted just like a regular Oreo.  The flavor was not milk chocolaty – rather, it tasted a lot like the dark cookie of an Oreo: semi-sweet, with almost a burnt cocoa flavor.  Add on top of that a sweetness that helped highlight and enhance that Oreo-cookie flavor, and you have pure perfection.  This stuff was DANGEROUSLY good. Oreo cookie butter.  Holy cow.

Trader Joe's Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter

Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter: …little bits of cookie!

Additionally, this Trader Joe’s Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter had TINY TINY bits of Oreo-like cookie throughout, so the smooth texture was punctuated with little crunchy bits. This made eating it straight out of the jar even more enjoyable – the variety in texture meant I wasn’t just eating a spoonful of tasty goo. It was, instead, a semi-crunchy spoonful of tasty goo.

Go to Trader Joe’s. Buy this. Now.  I promise you’ll like it.

PURCHASED AT: Trader Joe’s, Bethesda, MD

COST: $3.69.

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.


Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 40 Comments

  1. alek says:

    Ironically I saw this yesterday at my TJ and was hesitant to buy it. Now after reading your review I want go back and grab it!! Brilliant idea TJ. They should do other varieties like chocolate chip, sugar cookie, or a golden oreo knockoff

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Alek: I agree – need more cookie butters!

    • Ria says:

      @alek @junkfoodguy There’s a company called Gooey on the Inside and they have 12 different cookie butter flavors. My fav is vanilla birthday cake. I’m sorry but they are way better than TJ

  2. Kaitlyn says:

    well, damn. i don’t have a trader joe’s 🙁

  3. Caitlin says:

    I bought this yesterday at TJ and agree that it’s pretty awesome. However I’d like to find something to do with it other than eat it with a spoon (not that that’s a bag thing). I’m thinking some kind of cookie like vanilla wafers.

  4. Jamie says:

    I was hesitant to buy it as well… I just thought it would be SUGAR and not really flavored very well? looking at the photos, must be made by the same company that makes their other cookie butters! glad it is a winner!

    with all the pumpkin spice stuff they released, I can’t believe this wasn’t some pumpkin cookie spread instead of oreo (or sorry JOJO) cookie

  5. Jamie says:

    well they do have that pumpkin jojo *looks around suspiciously*

    I know there are tons of recipes using cookie butter… I am sure you could adapt them to use this version. oh like milkshakes – because no one ever had a oreo milkshake before 😉

  6. Marc P says:

    Gee, I wonder why I have always had a fear of freaking clowns.

    I have heard about this product and keep forgetting to get it when I make a TJs run.
    Glad to hear that it looks like this delivers on being as good as it sounds.

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Marc P: let me know what you think when you get it. I always need honest feedback.

      Also, yeah no kidding re clowns. Especially…didn’t it look like some were, like, bleeding from their eyes? WTF

  7. Elisa says:

    I’ve heard Halloween is the 2nd biggest holiday for people to spend money on decorating houses.

  8. Sarah says:

    I keep seeing two types of reviews: love it or hate it due to oil. Maybe since yours was thick there was less oil? Perhaps not all batches are created the same. … Do want to try it though!

  9. Devin says:

    I kinda want to try this stuff, but I can’t think of anything to try it with. I know people keep saying it can be eaten alone, but for some reason that just seems weird to me. I guess if I ever think of something I’ll give it a shot.

  10. runinboise says:

    I think I would love this a little too much!

  11. John R. says:

    I’m the type of guy that always frosts the top of his baked brownies with your typical Duncan Hines/Pillsbury icing. Would this cookie butter be a good alternative to do that with?

  12. I still don’t know what to do with this. Don’t really care for it plain. Tried it on graham crackers. No good. Thinking maybe those pretzel rod things dipped in it. It just tastes so…lifeless. “Look, I’m eating…black. Crunchy black. With some white swirl. Mmmm…greasy yet thick.” And I think my stomach gives me funny looks when I reach for the jar, like “you’re not putting that in here, are you?”. Did you get the cookie butter cups, also? Those I’m having no trouble scarfing down.

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Dana: Awh, you didn’t like it? I agree that I wasn’t sure what to do with it, but I thought the flavor was pretty good. Then again, maybe I just LIKE crunchy black 😛

  13. Mary says:

    You should try watching Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

    That aside, Cookies & Creme Butter sounds amazing. I’ve never been to Trader Joe’s, but now I might have to stop by.

  14. philly says:

    I tried it on vanilla bean ice cream it was amazing ????

  15. Ria says:

    Do a review on Gooey on the Inside cookie butters!
    I use to think TJ was the best until I discovered their cookie butters. Amazing!

  16. stuart says:

    this stuff is heaven u dont understand <3

  17. Joking says:

    Disgusting. Do you ever eat anything at all that’s healthy!

  18. Ann says:

    Oreo or one of the competing doppels needs to use this cookie butter for one of their fillings. Heck, all the cookie butters!

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