Review: Brach’s Apple Pie Candy Corn & Awkward Stories, Redux: Grocery Theft!
Junk Food Nation, since a couple of days ago we were discussing theft stories, I wanted to bring back a story that I posted waaaay back when this blog started that some of you may have missed. Enjoy!
Back when I lived in Maryland, before moving into DC, I used to frequent this small family-owned grocery store known as Sniders SuperFood. It was a great little grocery with great deals and fresh deli. One of the store’s hallmarks was that because it was so small, there were no gaudy displays, no colorful shelves, etc. Instead, if something was on sale, they’d load up a shopping cart full of one item, and stick a sign into it – “Cans of Corn, 3 for $1,” that sort of thing. Then they’d post these shopping carts at the end of store aisles.
So one day I’m out getting my groceries, pushing my cart around, and I get to the end of an aisle. And there, in all its glory, is a cart loaded with, what else, Doritos! Junk Food Nation, you know how much I LOVE Doritos, especially if they’re on sale. I push my cart over next to it, and I happily start pulling bags of Doritos out of that cart into my cart. Cool Ranch, Nacho Cheese, Spicy – quite a haul!
Quite a haul… until a woman walks up to me hurriedly with a nasty look on her face, and exclaims, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” And then I look more closely – this is her shopping cart. I am clearly stealing Doritos out of this woman’s shopping cart.
Here’s what went through my head as I was caught dumpster diving into this random lady’s shopping cart:
1) Her purse was clearly in that little basket to the front of the cart. Big ol’ purse. Big. Ol. Purse. I guess I’m lucky this woman didn’t come at me with a taser, or screamed for the police. Nope – she just saw my dumb face offloading Doritos like it was my job.
2) No price sale sign anywhere in sight. That should’ve been a big clue. But no, my dumb ass sees a cart loaded with Doritos and somehow it becomes my mission to make them all mine. Like its a video game!
3) The main thought I had: Who has that many Doritos in one cart!? (Besides me, that is?) Seriously, I would not have have gone hogwild on the Doritos cart unless I honestly thought it was a sale cart. This lady had close to fifteen bags in her cart. Having a really big party, are we, ma’am??
(And yes, I did see that there was other food in the cart…EVENTUALLY. But when your eyes are filled with Dorito-y goodness, there’s blinders. BLINDERS!)
Anyways, I spent the rest of the grocery trip hiding from this woman, and she scowled every time she even saw me, instinctively clutching her purse. Good lord – I’M NOT GOING TO ROB YOU, LADY. Ugh.
So, Junk Food Nation – do you have any awkward grocery store stories like this? Let me know in the comments below. And don’t forget to enter my Peanut Butter & Co. contest!
Today’s junk food: Brach’s Apple Pie Candy Corn!
So Brach’s Apple Pie Candy Corn exists. After reviewing the Caramel Macchiato version, I was hesitant to try this. My CM review was basically: Yeah, they got the flavor spot on, but who wants candy corn that tastes like that? Not me. So the question remains with this – do I WANT candy corn that tastes like apple pie, even if its spot on? I’m not sure.
Brach’s Apple Pie Candy Corn contains no apple. Not surprising.
I opened this bag of Brach’s Apple Pie Candy Corn and sniffed…hmmm. Definitely smelled a bit like apple, and I caught a nice cinnamon whiff too. As I placed my nose to the bag and huffed it like it was a Whip-it, I realized that these candy corn did, indeed, smell like apple pie filling. Peculiar.
Stuffing several of these Brach’s Apple Pie Candy Corn into my mouth, I chewed and…my eyes widened. Holy cow. These did taste like apple pie. And….THEY WERE DELICIOUS.
Again, this is all personal preference, but I thought these were out of this world good. As soon as my first chews sank in, the apple taste can STREAMING out of the candy, with just the right amount of brown sugar and cinnamon taste to go with it. Simply put, these candy corn tasted EXACTLY like apple pie filling. Maybe more accurately, you know that GOO that surrounds the apples in apple pie filling? Yeah…this tasted like that. Nice little honey flavor that ended the chew, too. Yum yum.
It immediately reminded me of Hostess Apple Pies, McDonald’s Apple Pies, and all the apple pies I’d ever eaten, but with the chewy texture of candy corn. But the flavor was unmistakable, and remarkable. I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed these. I kept eating them just to make sure my brain wasn’t wrong on the flavor. It wasn’t. These are just damn good. BUY.
PURCHASED AT: Walgreens
Junk Food Guy