Review: New JIF Cereal & The Hands Praying / High Five Emoji is Completely Useless

Junk Food Nation, I was reading Gawker yesterday and came across this story about emojis….you know, those little picture icons that people insert into texts. ย People used to do text emojis like : ) … but then companies started getting into picture emojis like ๐Ÿ™‚ And from that point on, civilization was officially ruined.

The article talked about people using this emoji:

hands pay

Now, the debate was whether this was a high-five emoji, or a hands clasped in prayer emoji. ย ABC in Philadelphia suggested this was a high-five, while Gawker broke down why this was a praying hands image.

My take: YOU SHOULD NEVER BE USING THIS EMOJI REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT “MEANS.” Let’s really think about this. ย People use the emoji ๐Ÿ™‚ as a cute way of saying “I like this” or “yes.” Example: “Want to eat five bags of Doritos with me?” ” ๐Ÿ™‚ “

The emoji takes the place of the words. But when the hell do you ever SAY “high-five”? ย If someone texts me “I GOT THE JOB!” I usually text back CONGRATS! or YES! or even ๐Ÿ˜€ …I’m never saying HIGH FIVE. And if I texted the picture above? Then I’m REALLY reaching. “I GOT THE JOB” “IMAGE OF US HIGH FIVING AS IF WE WERE NEAR EACH OTHER BUT WE’RE NOT SO HERE WE GO!”

Now let’s flip it the other way – a picture of hands in prayer. When the hell would I use this??? ย It seems EXTREMELY insensitive to respond to a serious text in such a fashion. ย If I texted someone “My dog is sick; at the vets” or “Eddie is in coma” and someone texted me BACK a picture of hands praying?? I’d flip my S. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE CUTE. YOU TEXT ME ACTUAL WORDS OF SYMPATHY OR I WILL CUT YOU.

So yeah – this emoji is the worst. And generally emojis are the worst. Don’t use ’em ๐Ÿ˜‰ What do you think? Tell me in the comments.

Today’s junk food: New JIF Cereal!

New JIF Cereal

New JIF Cereal: The Money Shot

New JIF Cereal! Since so many of you wanted me to review more cereals, I decided to oblige. ย This cereal isn’t ENTIRELY new, and I discussed it with the guys over on the Nosh Show. ย Still, as someone who grew up loving Peanut Butter Crunch but who hasn’t eaten it in YEARS, I was eager to try this. ย I mean, the box just SCREAMS tryย me. ย Well, to me it did…and that’s why you don’t buy groceries on an empty stomach.

New JIF Cereal

New JIF Cereal: Wait, I thought this was just PB!

New JIF Cereal contains JIF peanut butter…and apparently a ton of other nuts too. ย Damnit, JIF. As fellow blogger Dubba would say, “CLEAN YOUR MACHINES MORE.”

New JIF Cereal

New JIF Cereal: This box contains 1000 calories

New JIF Cereal

New JIF Cereal: MMMM brown sugar syrup

Ah, I retract my previous comment. ย Apparently, this New JIF Cereal contains pecan, almond, and walnut on PURPOSE. ย To add flavor? ย Well, WTH, JIF? ย I thought your peanut butter would be enough.

New JIF Cereal

New JIF Cereal: Little sqquares with holes

New JIF Cereal is a bunch of little puffed squares with holes. ย Actually, I’ve been sitting here trying to think of what these shapes reminded me of – like puffy Cheese Nips? ย I dunno – let me know if you can think of anything in the comments.

Opening the box, this cereal smelled peanut buttery and very sweet. Inhaling deeply, there was a definite peanut butter cookie vibe going.

New JIF Cereal

New JIF Cereal: Like mini square donuts.

I popped a handful of this New JIF Cereal into my mouth and chewed – pretty effing good. ย I mean, it’s not the most complex flavor I’ve ever tasted, and I haven’t had Peanut Butter Crunch in a while to compare it – but this tastes pretty effing good.

The cereal pieces are a combo of corn and wheat that are super crunchy and have the texture similar to a lot of cereals – Froot Loops, etc. ย They aren’t super dense pieces or even fine grain pieces like Cheerios – these are your standard puffy corn/wheat blend cereal pieces.

The taste was as I expected – very much like a peanut butter cookie. ย There wasn’t much salt to this flavor; this definitely was not a salty PB taste. ย Instead, there was almost a buttery taste to the cereal, like popcorn. ย But the flavor, to me, was all peanut butter cookie – nice peanut flavor with plenty of sugar. ย Not overly sweet, but definitely sweeter than normal peanut butter. ย Reminded me a lot of what I think Peanut Butter Crunch tasted like, but more buttery and sweet.

Would I get it again? Heck yeah. My hope is that the next go-round for this cereal has hints of honey instead of brown sugar – now THAT would be awesome.


COST:ย $2.99

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Letโ€™s hang out.


Junk Food Guy

NoshLogo 2 - small



Discuss - 18 Comments

  1. Steve B. says:

    Square Cheerios?

  2. MP says:

    I’m noticing a lot of anger and/or rage in the ledes of these entries lately. Is everything okay, JFG? Or if you’re just pissed off in general, then I totally get it.

  3. Kelly says:

    Upon seeing the shapes the first thought that came to me was ‘cat food’.

  4. Sarah says:

    I like your take on the emojis, never thought of it like that….why the hell would you actually use either one!! The shape of this cereal is familiar. It reminds of a cereal from the 80’s, I don’t remember the name but the squares were dark brown healthy things. Really crunchy, not tasty….GOT IT….. Cracklin oat bran!!

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Sarah: I LOVE LOVE LOVE CRacklin Oat Bran. Was it healthy? I seem to remember that it was still pretty unhealthy to eat the entire box in one sitting….like I typically did ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Kahnye says:

    Nice anti-emoji #hottake! HIGH FIVE!

  6. Marc P says:

    First! Thanks for going the cereal route!

    I just tried this one too and plowed the box on my flight to Turks and Caicos. Flat out addictive.

  7. Dan says:

    @ Kelly

    This reminds me of a picture I saw where Rice Krispies cereal has same shapes as Friskies cat treats:

  8. Paige says:

    I think these look like those little puff things that toddlers eat.

  9. Hunter-m3 says:

    As a cereal addict, I have gone though several boxes of these already. However, In my opinion Peanut Butter Crunch is better and even better is Peanut Butter Toast Crunch.

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Note marked required (*) fields.


NoshLogo 2 - small

Marvo knows what's on shelves before anyone. ANYONE. Our trusty leader on The Nosh Show.

Ryan is the fast food guru. His soft dulcet tones will make you want to eat french fries, immediately.

Dubba is an ice cream wizard. He's got two spoons and he's not afraid to use them. Unless it's something spicy.

Chris is an IG god, and knows his stuff. Plus, he's from Maryland. What's not to like?