Review: New Sour Patch Kids Stride Gum (Redberry, Lime) & DUNKER OF THE NIGHT (meh)
Junk Food Nation, today is that most romantic day of the year, that day when you look over at your better half, gaze into their eyes, and say….IT’S NBA ALL STAR WEEKEND, AND THE CELEBRITY BASKETBALL GAME STARTS IN 10 HOURS! WHERE’S THE NEAREST SPORTS BAR??
NBA All Star Weekend is amazing/awful for so many reasons, the first of which is that EVERYTHING is so blatantly sponsored. I know it’s not so unusual when every single highlight package on ESPN seems to be brought to you by Jack Daniels, but still, while some sponsors make sense (The Foot Locker 3-Pt Contest), others….welll, not so much.
The BBVA Compass Rising Stars Challenge? That’s not a made-up sponsor, and apparently, IT’S A BANK. What the. The Boost Mobile NBA D-League All-Star Game? “Makes sense that the developmental league stars would be sponsored by developmental cellphones,” sneered Sprint. The Sears Shooting Stars Competition? Did anyone else have to check whether Sears still existed, like I did? The Taco Bell Skills Challenge? Is the skill eating Taco Bell itself?
The All-Star Game is actually on Sunday, (and I’ll be watching the #WallStar), but Saturday night is the Big Kahuna – the Slam Dunk Contest. Now look – any basketball aficionado basically has a love hate relationship with the Slam Dunk Contest. It used to be one of my favorite nights of the year. Must see TV. When Vince Carter did it in 2000? One of my favorite NBA moments EVER.
Then they switched the rules: instead of just getting two-three chances to make a dunk, now you got two minutes to try over and over again. They switched from judging to fan voting, so the whole thing was a popularity contest. Blake Griffin winning for jumping over the hood of a car?? BS. The whole thing was punctuated by the fact that props became all that mattered, and most of all, the stars of the NBA never did the contest. Fear of embarrassment? Who knows…but MJ and Kobe have won it; we’ll likely never see Durant and Lebron go head to head. The dunk contest became/is a joke. I didn’t even watch it last year.
Still, THIS YEAR’S slate of contestants are actual names, at least, so that tingle is sort of back. But, for those who didn’t know, there are NEW RULES AGAIN. This year, there are two teams of three players: East (Terrence Ross, Paul George and John Wall) and West (Harrison Barnes, Damian Lillard and Ben McLemore). They’ll have a freestyle period, and do dunks like a layup line, with a team “winning” with a choice to go first/second in the “battle” round. So the first round is like the coin toss. Hmpf. The “battle round” is basically a H2H competition where the winning team is the first to 3 head-to-head victories. Read more about the contest here.
I have to admit, on its face, I like the changes – it’ll speed the whole thing up, reduce props, take away (hopefully) some of the overhype per dunk (choirs coming out….WHAT A SHAM BLAKE GRIFFIN). So is there a Slam Dunk Champion at the end of the night? Well, it’s determined by fan voting again, and it’s just a “Dunker of the Night” award, which I guess means that any dunker throughout the evening could win. So…there’s that. Can’t wait to see how the NBA botches this, but I hope these new rules make the dunk contest bearable. You know what I’ll be watching tomorrow evening. Until then…
Today’s junk food: New Sour Patch Kids Stride Gum!
So, I did some digging into my blog, and found out something astounding to me: I have never, EVER, reviewed gum. EVER. (I think). And when I really think about it, there’s a reason. I don’t like gum. I mean, sure it tastes fine, and I’ve chewed plenty of bubblegum in my day. But I don’t crave it. I don’t smoke, so it’s not like I need a substitute. I DON’T CHEW GUM. hell, I even needed to create a whole new category for it on this blog.
But we discussed this New Sour Patch Kids Stride Gum on the Nosh Show, and then I spotted it. And I DO love Sour Patch Kids. Sigh. Here we go.
First of all, I think we can all agree that redberry is not a fruit, and while normally I don’t mind made up words, redberry is not comical or unique enough to get me excited. Selfie, fauxhawk, twerk? Those are made-up words I can get behind. Redberry? BOOO.
Anyways, New Sour Patch Kids Redberry Stride Gum tastes like I’m chewing Swedish Fish. You know, the red gummy fish candy. When I popped the piece into my mouth, a couple chews did bring out a red Sour Patch Kid taste, in that it tasted like the red gummy candy that underlies both Swedish Fish and red SPKids. That really sweet and tart cherry/fruit punch/REDBERRY flavor.
Main drawback? NOT SOUR. These were not SOUR like SPKids candy. You’d think they’d load the outside with sour sugar crystals, but no. Tasted like the gummy candy, but not like the sour. Plus, the flavor lasted all of 1.5 minutes. Then the flavor died, and I was left with a semi-sweet fake-sweetener tasting hunk of rubber. See, this is why I don’t chew gum.
Next up: New Sour Patch Kids Lime Stride Gum!
New Sour Patch Kids Lime Stride Gum tasted like I was chewing lime Jello. Again, a couple chews brought out the lime flavor right away, and as it crescendo-ed, I was caught between tasting that common lime-green gummy candy flavor and lime Jello. Unfortunately for me, the lime Jello flavor won out. Very lime-y, but other than that, pretty one note. Again, NOT SOUR IN THE SLIGHTEST.
Again, the flavor died quickly. I spit this one out after a couple minutes too. I have no idea why people chew gum.
So, all in all, I didn’t like these, but you’ll have to take that review with a grain of salt since I’m clearly a hater of gum, and especially fake-sweetener gum. That said, the underlying flavors weren’t horrible, but they didn’t represent the flavor of Sour Patch Kids. No sour?? How could you mess that up, Stride?
PURCHASED AT: Target
COST: $1.00 each
Junk Food Guy