Review: Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato & USE THE TOP BAR, TALL PERSON ON THE METRO!

Junk Food Nation, sorry for no post yesterday.  My internet decided to FREAK OUT, and prevented me from doing ANYTHING productive.  BUT I’M BACK.  I know you’re glad. I am too. It gives me a chance to vent about something ELSE that happened on my lovely commute to work via the Metro/subway!

I’m standing on the Metro, holding onto a pole, and it’s crowded.  So, a BUNCH of people are holding onto the pole too.  And luckily, there is no A$$HOLE leaning on the pole, making the ride ridiculous.  The train pulls into the next station, and a tall person gets on.  Now look, Junk Food Nation, I’ll be the first to admit – I’m short.  And that’s fine.  This guy was above average height.  Maybe…6’4″?  He was tall.

He comes into the car, squeezing into the masses.  And I get it, that’s what you have to do. I can tell it’s awkward for him, because his head is very close to the top of the train car – close to the ceiling.  And on the ceiling of the train car are poles that run horizontally, so he’s sort of ducking his head to get under them.

Here’s the thing: his arm is outstretched then entire time, reaching for the pole I’m holding onto! He’s inching his way in, shuffling slowly, squeezing in between people, everyone else is shifting around, and he’s aiming for my pole, he WANTS my pole!  The doors shut, the train jerks forward, he hasn’t reached my pole yet, and so he stumbles back knocking into some people behind him because he has no hand hold.  When he rights himself, he continues to inch toward my pole. Finally, he manages to grab onto it, forcing others to shift more, everyone’s hands slide down, and suddenly, I’m hanging onto the thing sideways in between people like I’m trying to release the counterlever to stop the spiked ceiling from dropping in Temple of Doom.

What I don’t get: WHY AREN’T YOU USING THE TOP BAR THAT YOU’RE DUCKING UNDER FOR BALANCE???? THAT’S WHAT THE TOP BAR IS FOR.  Look, I’m short.  I can reach the top bar, if I feel like being outstretched the whole train ride. But for you tall people, the top bar is for YOU to hang onto. It’s for YOU AND ONLY YOU.  This guy didn’t need to fall over.  He could’ve USED THE BAR THAT WAS NEAR HIS FACE TO ANCHOR HIMSELF.

Am I crazy here?  Tell me in the comments below.  I’m sure he was a nice guy.  BUT USE WHAT METRO HAS GIVEN YOU.

Today’s junk food: Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato!

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato: The Money Shot

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato is not a new flavor, but I love Talenti, I love Egg Nog, and this is the first time I’d seen this product.  Apparently it was originally released two years ago.  Let’s see how it stacks up against the other Talenti flavors I’ve tried.

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato: Happy spoons!

So, do you like egg nog?  I find this to be a very polarizing question.  Some people either love it, or don’t…I’ve seldom met anyone who’s right in between.  Usually it’s the texture that turns people off – like drinking a sweet hollandaise sauce – so I’m curious is turning this concotion into an gelato would make people like it more.  Big pressure, Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato!

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato: THIS CONTAINER HAS 800 CALORIES. WOW

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato: Simple ingredients

Here’s the extent I know about egg nog – it’s creamy, frothy from the whipped eggs, and full of booze.  Boozy booze booze.  Gimme booze.  But I notice a distinct LACK of booze from this Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato ingredient list. Hm.

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato: sniff sniff

I unscrewed the lid to this Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato, and took a sniff – nutmeg.  Sweet creamy aroma and NUTMEG.  Faint, but there.  Let’s take a closer look…

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato: Smooth as…well, gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato was basically one consistency, smooth smooth smooth, without anything to break up the texture except for what appeared to be tiny specks of nutmeg.  No random chocolate slivers, cookie chunks, nada.  Just gelato.  Let’s eat…

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato: FROZEN EGGY GOODNESS

Talenti Old World Egg Nog Gelato was GOOD.  Whoa.  I really liked this.

Caveat: BUT, I also really like egg nog.  Not sure this flavor is for non-nog lovers.  The flavor: VERY creamy, full of that rich milky-vanilla flavor.  There was a hint of nutmeg flavor (much less than the nutmeg spice smell I got).  I could’ve used more nutmeg.  But I could tell the nutmeg was there.  Other than that, the MAIN flavor I got was (surprisingly) a nice boozy undertone.  But there’s no booze in the gelato!! My guess is that the boozy boozerton flavor came from the vanilla extract.  And I LIKED IT.

This tasted exactly how I imagine frozen egg nog to be.  To me, this was NOT egg nog FLAVORED gelato, this was frozen egg nog.  Like, egg nog loaded into an ice cream machine and spit out.  If someone took a scoop of this, dropped it into a shot of rum, and lit it on fire? Heaven.

PURCHASED AT: Giant Grocery

COST: $4.00

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Let’s hang out.


Junk Food Guy


Discuss - 11 Comments

  1. Sarah says:

    I live in a city with 6 million people. I agree, use what the metro gave you. On the other hand….junk food guy, you gotta let it go…..although entertaining, you are going to give yourself a heart attack with all the stressing about the pole! Egg nog, love it! Made my Xmas cut out cookies today, didn’t have buttermilk so I used egg nog….new recipe….yummy!

  2. alek says:

    I’m just wondering which was the most worst thing you ever reviewed in this site?

  3. Devin says:

    While I agree that in that specific situation Tall Guy should have just used the top bar, I don’t think it should be a rule or anything that tall people have to use the top bar. It’s probably still uncomfortable to use no matter how close to it you are.

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Devin: Lol, of course. If the train isn’t crowded, then you and me can def share hanging onto the vertical bar. Was definitely focused on that particular situation 🙂

  4. ibagoalie says:

    Maybe he had BO and was too embarrassed to lift his arm high. I hate all things eggnog….yuck!

  5. RubenV says:

    I think the Talenti Brand is one of the best brands in the frozen premium Gelato category, I have tried several Flavors including the Vanilla Bean, Sicilian Pistachio, Sea Salt Caramel and Banana Chocolate Swirl.

    The Vanilla Bean is Awesome in a Root Beer Float Combo, The texture stays together as the Gelato stays firm for a while due to the density of the mixture profile.

    I am anxious to try some of the other flavors you listed and will do an area search for the ones you have reviewed.

    P.S. Love the Site

  6. Julian says:

    It’s uncomfortable to keep yourself balanced by holding your arm up like you’re pulling on a semitruck horn. The blood circulation isn’t as good as it would be with your arm off the side, like it is when holding the vertical bar. It’s especially uncomfortable if you’re holding your left arm up in the air, which is close to your heart. Yikes! He has just as much right to use the vertical bar as you do.

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