Review: Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips & Gary Player, 77, Posing Nude. WHAT.
Junk Food Nation, big news this morning, right? Prop 8, DOMA, etc… well, I’m not going to talk about it at all here. Nope. Why? Because there are 8000000 other sites talking about it…go there for your latest info. Instead…
If you’re a dude (which my analytics tell me some of you are. How Google knows this is beyond me, and is somewhat scary), then chances are you’ve been to a public gym before. And if you’ve been to a public gym, then you’ve been in the situation where you’re changing before a workout or toweling off after a workout, you turn and BOOM! OLD MAN ASS. AND BALLS. AND GAAAAAAAAH. Now, I’m not a shy guy in the locker room, but I try to keep to myself and not put on a show. Not these old guys. They’ll stand under an air dryer for 20-30 minutes on end, everything just flapping in the semi-warm wind, drying down every single body hair and every crevice. It’s, frankly, HORRIFYING.
So imagine my surprise when I read that Gary Player, 77-year old golfer, would be posing NUDE in the upcoming ESPN the magazine’s Body Issue. The ESPN the Magazine’s Body Issue, for the uninitiated, is an issue where athletes pose nude (obviously all the NSFW bits are covered up, which is more than I can say for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which through the use of body paint has become the greatest magazine ever). The Body Issue’s intent is to show how ripped these athletes are…and it has been SUPER impressive in the past, with athletes such as Hope Solo (soccer), Blake Griffin (basketball), Zdeno Chara (hockey), and Daniela Hantuchova (WOW).
But Gary Player, huh? Loved him as a player, but nude 77 year old man ass? Apparently, Player has a crazy workout regimen, so I imagine his photos will be quite surprising. What will I be MORE shocked by – the fact that it’s a nude old man, or the fact that his definition will UNDOUBTEDLY be better than mine? Let me go weep into a bag of Doritos.
Today’s junk food: Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips
Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips were brought to my attention by a commenter, and lo and behold THERE THEY WERE AT MY LOCAL GROCERY! Instant buy.
I’ve done Ruffles Max before… and generally liked them. Let’s delve into my second Ruffles Max experience…
I’m sure the design on this bag of Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips will appeal to most people…BLOODY MEAT! I approve.
I am pretty sure that these Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips, despite making a caveman smile, are NOT Paleo-friendly.
Makes me want to club something? Er…what?
Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips have “Natural Grill Flavor.” Er….anyone licked any grills lately? I have not.
When I opened this bag of Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips, I must say, there was a definite beef smell. It smelled charred, smoky, and beefy. The bag was not hot. There was no grill. Yet, while not ENTIRELY on point, this bag smelled startlingly like steak on a flame grill. That accuracy in aroma, I must admit, sort of scared me. What kind of combo of chemicals have to be in place to make something so spot on??? SOYLENT GREEEEEN.
I chomped chomped chomped on these Limited Edition Ruffles Max Flame Grilled Steak Potato Chips, and the first thoughts in my head: Smoky. Beefy. Onion-y. End with a spice blend…almost ranch-like.
I reviewed Herr’s Kansas City Prime Steak Chips a while back, and what I’ll say is that these Ruffles Max chips tasted more like steak than those did, by far. The main problem with the Herr’s chips was they were too salty…it felt like I was eating a mouthful of bouillon. These chips, however? These…these were pretty interesting.
The first flavor I tasted was definitely a charred smoky taste. It sets up the chip flavor nicely since to lead off with beef would be too heavy handed, since when you eat a fresh New York Strip it IS the outer crust that your tongue hits first. Then the beef flavor kicked in, which was interestingly close to the flavor of beef. Or rather, as close as I think you could get while still being a potato chip. The best way I can describe it: after chewing and swallowing, and then breathing air in and out of my mouth, I tasted flame grilled steak. I did.
Moments of too much salt, but not much. These were able to taste like beef steak without tasting much bouillon; there were times it was actually kind of weird how close it came at times. In summary – closer in flavor profile than Herr’s, and probably the best “beef-flavored” chips out there right now. Whether it’s for you – that’s subjective. But as far as flavor goals, these were the most successful I’ve had to date.
PURCHASED AT: Giant Food
COST: $3.50 on sale
Junk Food Guy