Review: Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos & How So So So Wrong I Was About the Lakers
Junk Food Nation, as of this morning, the LA Lakers are 24-28, a full 16 games out of first place. And I’m pissed off about it. Honestly, I don’t really care – I’ve documented plenty of times on this blog how I don’t LOVE basketball. And the Lakers are hardly a team I root for, or even care about. So why am I angry? Because I like to THINK I know a little bit about sports, and I was SOOOOOOOOO wrong about the Lakers.
Back in October, I made predictions for the 2012-2013 NBA Season. Among those predictions? THAT THE LAKERS WOULD WIN THE NBA FINALS. Ugh, where did I go wrong? Oh wait, I know where:
1) I ignored the fact that Dwight Howard is NOT LeBron James. I thought that since Howard had the talent to be the best center in the NBA, that any team that had him and Kobe would be amazing. Ooof. I forgot about Howard’s injury history, something James did not have. I forgot that his stringing along of the Orlando Magic was worse than even James’ “Decision.” I forgot that he was heading West, where the big men were bigger than in the East. Like a pitcher switching to the AL from the NL, I should’ve recognized the signs.
2) I felt like I wrote off the Celtics as too old last year only to be proven wrong, and was overly cautious/generous with the Lakers. Essentially, I ignored the age rule – that players DON’T get better with age at a certain point. The Celtics were an anomaly, in that they were a great core nexus of players last year. Heck even this year, the Celts, despite their injuries and age, are at least still in 7th place. I shouldn’t have banked on the Lakers having the same chemistry in Year 1.
So what am I left with now? A Lakers team that has a soft center, an aging superstar, a legend point guard who has no one really to pass to, and a Euro former-center who is sitting on the bench or on the injury list. Plus Metta World Peace. And I thought these guys would beat the Heat? Over OKC?? Ugh – what was I thinking??
Today’s junk food: Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos!
These Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos were brought to my attention by Twitter friends @NickRovo and @KingRhino. And I FINALLY found them at Safeway. Now, here’s the thing: I *KNOW* how these are going to taste already. I’ve eaten, and reviewed, PLENTY of Oreos in my day. Did Oreo REALLY think that adding a TON MORE CREME inside would make these an actual “Limited Edition” Did they think this “unique” quality would really reel in the suckers?
Well, it did. I bought two packages. I am a huge dolt.
Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos are apparently part of this Cookie vs. Creme promotion going on at Oreo.com. They even had a Cookie vs. Creme Super Bowl commercial:
Here’s why the commercial doesn’t make sense to me: WHY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND ACTUALLY CHOOSES THE COOKIE OVER THE CREME?? Oh really, the near-flavorless COOKIE is the best part of an Oreo? You’d just LOVE it if this was really just a package of wafers?? LIES.
Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos had 180 calories for every two cookies, and…ah, why bother. You know these are bad for you. You know the ingredients are gonna be filled with sugar and oils and other stuff that you shouldn’t be having but that taste OH SO GOOD. You just want to see how much creme are actually IN these suckers, right? Well, read on, Nation…
Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos have so much creme inside, they sort of look like mini-Whoopie Pies, almost, don’t they? Let’s take a closer look:
Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos almost look fake. They almost look like I personally pried open some cookies, stuck them together, designed a fake package, and now am trying to sell these to you like an actually product. But, they are real. They do exist. And this is a sh*tload of creme. Holy moly.
I snapped some of these Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos in half, just to see how the structural integrity was … as my fingers applied enough pressure to break the cookie, the creme just started to spill and squeeze out the sides. Ridiculous.
Above, you will see how these Limited Edition MEGA STUFF Oreos (left) stack up to both Double Stuff (middle) and regular Oreos (right). A dramatic difference. If Double Stuff is twice the creme as regular Oreos, it’s safe to say that MEGA STUFF is basically three times as much creme. Blargh.
My friend Nick commented that one of these days, Oreos will evolve to the point where the tray will just be a big row of creme with two cookie wafers bookending the row. I wouldn’t be surprised. These MEGA STUFF Oreos were massive.
Still, how did they taste? DAMN GOOD, of course! I mean, it’s still just an Oreo, whether Golden or not, and all that’s different is that my mouth was blasted with thrice the sugar than normal. It didn’t taste bad, that’s for sure. And I was able to lift whole cars with the sugar rush, I think. Or maybe I passed out and dreamed that. Someone get me some insulin.
Anyways, thumbs up, Oreo, for this ridiculous ridiculous snack.
PURCHASED AT: Safeway
COST: $3.00 each on sale
Junk Food Guy