My LAST “As Seen In Ireland” & My Week 15 NFL Picks
Junk Food Nation, it’s football day again! Last week was ugly, as I went 9-7, 129-78-1 on the season. With the apocalypse approaching, I wonder: How would the Mayans pick these games?
CINCY over PHILLY: Maybe the Mayans 12-21-12 date was when Andy Reid would be fired.
BUFFALO over SEATTLE: …..COME ON BUFFALO! CIRCLE THE WAGONS! #otherthingsChrisBermanyells
ATLANTA over GIANTS: ATL will want to show that they are a serious contender in this NFC playoff potential matchup.
MINNESOTA over STL: Look, I know I said the Vikes were dead without Harvin…but I forgot that AP is averaging over six yards a carry. What?? Why no just give him the ball EVERY play – every two lays you have a first down! Fun fact: Last week, Adrian Peterson had more yards running that Christian Ponder did passing. Wow.
MIA over JAX: BATTLE OF THE FLORIDA TEA*….aw, who cares?
CHI over GB: This is Chicago’s last stand – if they lose this, my Super Bowl prediction doesn’t come true. I think Cutler pulls this one out.
WAS over CLE: THE KIRK COUSINS COMING OUT PARTY! Do it, son. CAPTAIN KIRK! CAPTAIN KIRK!
DENVER over BALT: I know it’s a home game, but Peyton has had extra rest and Baltimore is reeling.
HOUSTON over INDY: Houston, after getting embarrassed on Monday Night, will be looking to do some embarrassin’ of their own.
NO over TB: I thought TB was good enough to beat the Eagles, although you figured the Eagles had to win SOMETIME. That made me rethink the Bucs – I think NO has a slight edge in this game.
DET over ARZ: The Cardinals suffered the worst loss in my NFL memory last week. The Lions aren’t great…but I think they have enough to keep the hits coming.
SD over CAROLINA: All of sudden these two teams are making spoiler noise down the stretch. I like SD’s chances here with breakout star Danario Alexander.
DALLAS over PITT: Maybe it WAS too soon to have Big Ben back. I didn’t like what I saw last week, and I think this week will be no different.
OAK over KC: Yucky game of the week. Picking OAK just because.
NE over SF: Not trying to be a hater of either team. I see NE wanting to get as close to clinching home field throughout the playoffs as quickly as possible.
NYJ over TENN: Wait, did I say the KC-OAK game was the yucky game of the week? WRONG – this is smellier. Ugh. Jets only because Tennessee is like a worse version of Minnesota.
And now, presenting my last “As Seen In Ireland”! Yeah, I’m milking it. And you love it.
Do you think Daniel Snyder owns this knockoff of burger restaurants in Ireland? Or do you think Daniel Snyder is suing Eddie Rockets for infringing on the Johnny Rockets trademark?
Eddie Rockets?? Are you serious?
At the hotel I stayed at in Ireland, the ground floor was, literally, Floor Zero. What? How does that make any sense? And more than that…
…The floor below the ground floor was Floor -1??? Is this Middle Earth?
I was surprised to see another knockoff store in Ireland — TK Maxx?? Really? Maybe this isn’t a knockoff, but owned by the same parent company as TJ Maxx? In other countries, is there a TL Maxx, TM Maxx, TN Maxx?
In the US, Mr. Clean is a bald dude with huge muscle in a tight white t-shirt. In Ireland, Mr. Muscle (notice the U is an arm flexing its bicep) is a guy wearing an orange t-shirt and…a white blazer? Mr. Muscle is apparently from an 80’s sitcom set in Miami.
Not sure what Costa is, but I know that that Sausage Roll looks either amazing (SO MUCH SAUSAGE!) or horrifying (perfectly coiled dog stool on a piece of bread). Yeah….I didn’t purchase it.
Finally, at a book store, I saw this book, “Run, Fat Bitch, Run!” Talk about your motivational exercise novels. The US needs more books with titles like these. “The Reason You’re Single Is Because You’re Effing Ugly,” or “The Reason You’re Overweight Is Because You Write A Junk Food Blog and Eat Junk Food Every Day, Fatty.”
Sincerely, Junk Food Guy