Review: Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins & Awkward Mondays: Touching the Inside of a Urinal…the Horror
Junk Food Nation, I am BACK from my short hiatus. Did you miss me? I certainly missed you. West Coast IS very nice, but there’s just something about stepping off the plane at Dulles and freezing my ass off in mid-October. East Coast Beast Coast.
To those of you who have been entering my Justin’s candy contest, you’ve been great – almost 200 entries already! Hard to keep up with almost. For the rest of you, ENTER! Details on how to win a full case of Justin’s candy are here… you have until basically midnight EST tomorrow night, people. Do it to it.
On today’s Awkward Monday, I’d like to talk about something that happened to me this morning but has also happened in the past. As I was stopping into an airport bathroom during a layover, I followed the throngs of men looking to relieve themselves into the Men’s Room at LAX. SFO is a beautiful airport. LAX is a bit of a sh*t show, and the bathroom fit the profile. It was moist, slightly muggy, and everything was wet (see my rant about bathroom technology here).
I bellied up to the urinal – and it was one of those auto-flush ones … but of course, it was somewhat broken, because there was just this pool of urine in the base of the urinal, it was smelly, etc. No matter, I undid the super long drawstring to the Adidas sweats I was wearing, and did my business. As I went to hoist everything back up – I noticed that THE ENDS OF MY DRAWSTRINGS HAD BEEN RESTING ON THE FRONT LIP OF URINAL THE WHOLE TIME. GOD NO WHY PLEASE WHY NOOOOOOO. The tips of the drawstring were not dunked into the pool of urine, but were definitely sitting where urine has splashed and dried.
Needless to say, my mind exploded and I immediately went into panic mode, trying to figure out what to do and assess the situation. Do I try to wash the drawstrings off? Throw the pants entirely away? Burn the airport down? My wide eyes and thumping heart finally forced me over to the sink, where I quickly scrubbed the ends of the drawstrings, tied my pants, washed my hands like I had OCD, and evacuated the bathroom.
Has this ever happened to you? I get horrified when the belt I take to work touches the inside of a urinal at the TOP of the urinal… am I crazy, or am I normal? Please tell me in the comments below.
Today’s junk food: Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins!
I haven’t reviewed Wheat Thins too often on this blog, but the ones I have had have been pretty great. The reason I haven’t reviewed very many is because, well, Wheat Things doesn’t come out with new flavors very often. Recently, they went through a big box design change, but that was about it. You see “Sun Dried Tomato Wheat Thins” with a new box, and think, “WHOA THOSE ARE NEW….wait, no I’ve had these before. It’s just a new box. Fail.”
So when I passed these Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins in a small shop in Mendecino, CA, I thought nothing of them, thinking they were just a re-design. But then, I stopped. And turned. And went back, staring at this box. Cheese Crunch? I’ve never heard of THAT before. And I stood there thinking. Cheese-flavored Wheat Thins??? What?
I was SO confused. There was no “new” label on them, but I was CERTAIN I’d never seen a cheese flavored Wheat Thin before. I knew that Wheat Thins has a cheese-flavored Artisan Crisp they’d rolled out before…but just a plain cheese flavored Wheat Thin itself? Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins? So foreign to me.
Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins can be found on Amazon, but I swear, I have never heard of these, never seen them in stores, and never eaten anything like them in the past. Have you? Have you seen these before? Please tell me in the comments below. Even on Amazon, they look like a rarity, with only a few boxes left in stock. Can’t seem to find them on the Nabisco site, either (though to be fair, the Nabisco site LOVES TO NOT LOAD. Fix your Flash, guys.)
Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins are made up of a combo of cheddar cheese and romano cheese powders. Yummy. Would these be better than Cheez-Its? We shall see.
Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins had that great almost-sweet-flour-baked Wheat Thin smell when I opened the box. When I REALLY inhaled, I could catch a whiff if cheese, but it was subtle. Time to munch.
These Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins tasted pretty good! To set things straight, NOT better than Cheez-Its in my heart, but they don’t have to be to be successful.
These crackers start with that amazing Wheat Thin flavor – a baked wheat cracker that has a nice whole wheat taste and also a little bit of sweetness from the flour. Great crunch, and a hearty chew.
Add on top of that some nice white cheese flavor – honestly, I tasted more of the almost Parmesan-y Romano Cheese than anything else at first – bold, cheesy, and with a slight sweetness that matched the almost nutty flavor of the cracker. Then the cheddar kicked in, adding a nice sharp finish to the cracker flavor. Flavorful.
The cracker left delightful white powder on my fingers, which I happily licked off. These Cheese Crunch Wheat Thins were nothing novel, but they were done right. Please sell these on the East Coast, Nabisco. THUMBS. UP.
PURCHASED AT: Harvest at Mendosa’s Grocery in Mendecino, CA
COST: $3.99 (ooof)
Junk Food Guy