It’s Back! Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos & Opinion Week Day 2: Cheaters Who Are Morons

Junk Food Nation, today’s opinion is about cheaters (as semi-suggested by Caroline) in two major sports: Baseball and Scrabble.  That’s right, Scrabble. Over the past four days, two events rocked the gaming community: Melky Cabrera, the All-Star MVP and Leader in the NL Batting Race, was found to have used Performance Enhancing Drugs and was subsequently suspended for 50 games, and one of the top young Scrabble players in the country was ejected from a tournament when he was found to be palming blank tiles. Seriously.

However, in each case, the story doesn’t stop there; thus, my opinion of the day: If you’re going to cheat, don’t be a moron.  I am of course not endorsing cheating in any arena, but if you’re going to TRY to cheat, at least use your brain.

Case in Point, #1: Melky Cabrera.  In the Melk Man’s case, it came out that this positive test happened back during the All-Star Break, and the only reason it took so long to hit the media was because of the lengthy appeals process.  During that time, Melky did something amazing: he created a fake product website, complete with product info and ordering information, to fool investigators into thinking the site’s company had spiked the drug with testosterone, unbeknownst to him.

Melky.  Seriously?? We live in a world where Google Maps can see you sunbathing in Maui. Where I can lose my phone and call Apple and they’ll find it for me.  Where with enough know how, I can not only find out where all my assets lie, but also where all my neighbors assets lie.  You think the FBI isn’t going to be able to go to GoDaddy.com and see that WWW.NOT-PEDS.COM is registered to a M. Cabrera at AT*T Park?  In what world does a 28-y.o. baseball player think he’s Neo, tapping into the Matrix?

Melky: Do not try and find the steroids. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
FBI: What truth?
Melky: Uhhhh…LOOK OVER THERE!  <Melky runs away with laptop>

Case in Point, #2: Scrabble Kid.  The thing I can’t understand with the Scrabble cheater is this; what he did was take two blank tiles from the board before they were put in the bag and pocketed them for use in the game.  Well, that’s smart at least – everyone knows there are only two blanks in a Scrabble; the ruse would’ve unraveled quickly had he been trying to spell out TUXEDO with like four blanks.  This Slate article has the rather interesting tale of what the boy did and how he was caught.

But now you’ve got two blanks in your sleeve – now what?  You know your opponent is watching you.  Do you do some slight of hand when you’re reaching into the bag to retrieve your tiles, and they come sliding into your hand? That’s your only move, right? Except that according to the rules, you have to hold the bag above eye level when you’re swapping tiles…SO YOUR OPPONENT CAN SEE YOU PALM.  What the hell, kid??

Next time, if you’re that good at slight of hand, just pick pockets or something.  Why get deemed a cheater at the National Scrabble Championships??  You can’t brag about that to chicks.

OK, Junk Food Nation, Opinion Day #2 is done.  Give me more topics to talk about in the comments below!  Favorite 80’s Hair Metal band?  Best Episode of Seinfeld ever? More political topics?  Post ‘em and I’ll pick!

Today’s junk food: It’s back!  Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos!

Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos: The Money Shot

I know what you’re thinking: Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos?? So…Cookie’s and Creme filling inside of an Oreo Cookie?  Isn’t that like looking up the word redundant in the dictionary and it’s defined as redundant?

Is it really limited edition?

Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos have actually been reviewed before… by On Second Scoop in April 2010, The Impulsive Buy in May 2010, and Serious Eats in July 2011.  These aren’t limited edition at all, are they, Oreo!!??!?

Head on down to the DQ

Still, this was the first time I’d ever seen Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos, so I had to buy them.  Also, when King Rhino tweeted me a while back that Cookies and Creme Oreos were coming soon, I’m betting he meant these.

70 cal per

All processed, all the time

Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos have a mixture of…er…great ingredients, just like a DQ Blizzard does.

Honestly, who DOESN’T like a Blizzard??? It’s ice cream mixed with candy, cookies, and syrup – what’s NOT to love?!

NICE! Helping America get fatter

Fan Club for us gluttons!

Plus, the Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos also come with a way to join the Blizzard Fan Club!  Otherwise known as the greatest fan club on Earth.  Double blizzards??? That’s better than Frequent Flyer Miles.

Um, What the

When I opened my bag of Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos, this is what the tray looked like. Oreo, you get an F for tray stability. Broken cookies, jumbled rows?  Lemme clean this up…

There we go.

See? Now I can snack with some semblance of order.

Gloppy creme

Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos had some interesting creme inside.  As you can see it is speckled with dark brown – mimicking what it’d be like if someone has spread Blizzard mixed ice cream inside these Oreo cookies.

LOOKS like cookies and creme

Still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this creme is cookies and creme —- inside of an Oreo.  My head  = spinning.

Trying the creme by itself, I must say, I’m not too impressed.  The creme was a little sweeter than normal Oreo creme – it really resembled the vanilla-ish frosting creme inside of those Birthday Cake Oreos. A little too vanilla-ey, and the specks? Like hard little pieces of dark gravel that didn’t add much to the creme.  The creme did not taste like Blizzard Ice Cream.  Boo.

Ho Hum

Limited Edition Dairy Queen Blizzard Creme Oreos, when eaten normally – just basically tastes like an Oreo.  Seriously.  Outside of the slightly sweeter creme, these brought nothing new to the table.  With my friends over at On Second Scoop noting that Oreo seems to be really pushing the new flavor machine this year, these were a real disappointment.  Just buy regular Oreos.

You’re still my favorite cookie, Oreo…but these fell flat. Limited Edition my ass.

PURCHASED AT: Target!

COST: $2.50

Thoughts? Share this post by using the buttons below!  Or comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at [email protected]. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy

Discuss - 18 Comments

  1. Eilish says:

    What do you think about reality shows? Funds of planned parenthood? All of Heidi Montags cosmetic surgeries? Global warming? About watching calories Constantly to lose weight? Animal testing? Nancy grace? Drew Peterson? Charles Manson getting life instead of death? I am just full of random questions!

  2. Elisa says:

    You could call it “repeat seasonal limited edition” Oreos! It’s the 100th anniversary of the cookie so maybe it’s an excuse to bring them out again.

    There’s a Dairy Queen store in the mall where I live but have yet to go in.

  3. Will says:

    How about that bizarre ragu commercial? I don’t know if u have seen it ( I have only sen it twice) but a young kid opens his parents door and sees them having sex and he his horrified. To make things better he eats pasts with ragu to make everything better. While he’s eating the pasta with the ragu sauce his father is smiling and some weird song is going on threw it all.

    I know it a weird topic, but I just watch in shock. I hope other people have seen this so you don’t think I’m crazy. One word, bizarre!

  4. Dubba says:

    duh, it didnt even dawn on me that it was the creme making them extra crunchy!

  5. Nick Rovo says:

    Funny thing is, these aren’t even the new cookies and cream oreos that have been released. I’ve seen them once and like all the new oreo products, it disappeared the next time I went to grab them. Found a picture from oreo’s facebook https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151007295774653&set=a.124804629652.101377.114998944652&type=3&theater These look a lot more blended than the dq ones and actually remind me of the base of a good cookies and cream ice cream. Also there is one thing that sucks about a blizzard, the fact that the closest dq is over 2 hours away from me=[

  6. Lindemann says:

    As a leftover topic from a previous blog post, I would like to hear why, when the testing authority fails to maintain chain of custody, the burden of proof should be on the tested party to prove that the failure to maintain chain of custody affected the test in a meaningful way. I am curious because that is exactly backwards from real-world policy, but you shifted the burden of proof in your Ryan Braun post.

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Lindemann: If I said that, I may have been unclear. in the real world, the burden is on the testing party to show that the break in C o C had no impact, THEN the burden would shift. It would not shift from the start.

    • Kahnfucius says:

      A simple standard should be used: if someone stored your urine in their home refrigerator, that person shouldn’t be trusted. Like, at all. Certainly the burden should shift to them to prove that they got several extra boxes of baking soda.

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Kahnfucius: +1

  7. You don't say? says:

    Looks *exactly* like the birthday cookies. Just a bit more ‘creamier’, but that may be due to its storage conditions before you bought the package. Nice review. I’m suspecting they taste no different than Oreo’s Birthday edition. Or Oreo’s Cookie & Creme flavor that they had in Canada two years ago.

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