Garden of Eatin’ Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips & Maxim’s Awful 2012 Hot 100

Junk Food Nation, I like Maxim magazine. Funny articles. Scantily clad women. Low price. What’s not to like? Generally, it’s pretty reliable in all respects…except when they compose an AWFUL list like they did recently in their Maxim’s 2012 Hot 100.

For the rookies out there, Maxim’s Hot 100 is basically their list of the hottest 100 celebrities around. Except it’s usually an AWFUL list where the rankings are just completely inaccurate.  Now I get it – everyone has their own taste. But check out the list and tell me it’s not horrible.

First of all, why is a cartoon character, Lois Griffin, on the list at #85? So is this a joke list then? Because it seems like it! Not all of us are weird anime freaks. Next, the picture of Jordana Brewster at #52 is horrendous. She looks like an alien.  #74, JWOWW? Yeah, I get it, she’s hot amongst completely annoying slutbags, but amongst the hottest 100 of all?  Ridiculous. There’s GOT to be a SLEW of supermodels who can replace some of these women.

And don’t give me the “Well, you have to have HEARD of them to be on this list,” because who the hell are the women at #100, #78, and #35? I’ve never heard of these people.

But the biggest disagreement is always the top 10, and then the top 3. Bar Rafaeli and Milas Kunis, I get. Olivia Munn??? Look, I get it, geeks everywhere love her because she was the host on G4 forever. But there is no EFFING WAY she is hotter than Kate Upton, SI Covergirl, who’s down in the 30s. Have you FORGOTTEN the video of her doing the Cat Daddy???

Yeah, I definitely just watched that video….like, THIRTEEN TIMES while writing this post!  A travesty that she’s not in the Top 3. That’s the best video ON Youtube right now. Besides the Nyan Cat.

Now, am I objectifying women with this post? Yeah, sorta.  But females, if you saw a list of the 100 Hottest Males and saw Stan Smith, the dad from American Dad, on there, you wouldn’t flip your shit? Of course you would. Just like you’d be pissed if someone ranked Robert Pattison over Cristiano Ronaldo, the most famous soccer player on the PLANET. Q.E.D.

Today’s junk food: Garden of Eatin’ Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips!

Garden of Eatin' Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips: The Money Shot

Garden of Eatin‘ Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips were picked up at my local Wegmans because…well, they were on sale, and it’s been a while since I’d eaten a blue tortilla chip. My high school violin teacher used to serve these all the time. In retrospect, I have no idea why I was eating blue tortilla chips during my violin lessons.

I LOVE WORDPLAY

Garden of Eatin’ has been around for 35 years, and has a name that made me chuckle softly as soon as I saw it.  In addition to these Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips, they apparently make Sweet Potato Chips and Black Beans Chips, which is incredible. Although they have to come up with a better name than “Baked Crunchitos.”

Lookin' like purple fire chips!

I remember when I first saw blue tortilla chips, I thought, “Why the hell would you food-color tortilla chips dark blue/purple???” Now that I know blue corn ACTUALLY exists, I’m not so freaked out by these Garden of Eatin’ Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips.

SO MANY !!!!!

I like no hydrogenated oils

Give it up for a Long Island company

Heavily dusted with powder

When I opened this bag of Garden of Eatin’ Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips, I noticed all the great red powder but all I could smell was fresh corn.  Really nice corn smell.  Munchies time!

Cayenne kick!

I must say, for being a healthy snack, and all organic and shit, these Garden of Eatin’ Red Hot Blues Corn Tortilla Chips were DAMN tasty.  Like REALLY tasty. The blue tortilla chip was light, crispy, and the chips weren’t all crushed and broken, which was nice.  And the flavor was an IMMEDIATE taste of tomato, onion, and paprika.  Plain and simple.  Just a savory great taste. Not too salty, despite the amount of powder on these chips, and not overwhelming – despite the visible amount of powder, the flavors of the corn chip and the tomato-onion-paprika powder melded really well.  A nice tiny spicy kick after munching a few chips.

A nice chip all around. Would definitely buy and gorge on again.

Thoughts? Hit me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy

Discuss - 3 Comments

  1. Lindemann says:

    These are a longtime favorite of the Lindemann household. I’m glad you liked them as well. They really have the mouthfeel perfected in my opinion – crunchy, thick enough for a dip, yet light and pleasant-textured as well.

  2. Rodzilla says:

    “Yeah, I get it, she’s hot for amongst completely annoying slutbags” lol, nice.

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Note marked required (*) fields.

Categories

THE NOSH SHOW GANG

NoshLogo 2 - small

THE IMPULSIVE BUY
Marvo knows what's on shelves before anyone. ANYONE. Our trusty leader on The Nosh Show.

GRUB GRADE
Ryan is the fast food guru. His soft dulcet tones will make you want to eat french fries, immediately.

ON SECOND SCOOP
Dubba is an ice cream wizard. He's got two spoons and he's not afraid to use them. Unless it's something spicy.