Breyers Blasts! Waffle Cone with Chocolatey Chips & Hey Who’s That? It’s Crazy Screaming Guy!

Junk Food Nation, I live in the idyllic (to me) DC neighborhood known as Cleveland Park. It has everything: the city’s best pizza, a historical movie theater, a sports bar, Irish pub, post office, CVS, Walgreen’s, gourmet restaurants, amazing ethnic food, grocery stores, pet stores, banks – it really has it all. AND it has it’s very own CRAZY SCREAMING GUY!

Now, look. I’m not one to joke about mental illness; and quite frankly, I’m not sure if this guy is mentally ill. All I know is that every day around 7:45am, on the dot, this dude walks up the whole length of Connecticut Avenue, singing Spanish songs at the top of his lungs. AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. Like, LOUDLY – you know how when you push your voice WAY past shouting, and your voice starts to fray a little at the end. That’s the type of notes this guy is trying to hit. ALL THE TIME.

He pushes his range too! You know how when you sing higher and higher and eventually all the notes are exactly the same? BINGO.

Now, does he curse? Nope (I don’t think). Does he harass people? Nope. Does he look homeless or otherwise? Nope. Honestly, he’s just a normal looking dude, no ticks or physical imbalances, who likes to park his keister on the corner AND SCREAM HIS EFFING LUNGS OUT.

Why do I bring it up? Because as PC as I try to be sometimes, it’s really friggin’ jarring in the morning. Sometimes I don’t listen to any music in the morning, as I shuffle around in the darkness trying to find my (1) glasses, (2) pants, (3) dignity and self-respect.  And then in the dead of morning, I can hear him approaching in the distance getting louder and louder until basically it sounds like he’s yelling into my window.

I will give him credit – as he walks past people, he’ll stop singing momentarily – presumably to not scream in their ears as they pass. But as soon as they take one step past, he resumes his concert.  Wow. If anyone else in DC has seen/heard this guy, let me know!

Today’s junk food: Breyer’s Blasts! Waffle Cone with Chocolatey Chips!

Breyers Blasts! Waffle Cone with Chocolatey Chips: The Money Shot

Suggested to me by my friend, the Geesh, Breyers Blasts! Waffle Cone with Chocolatey Chips was found in my local Walmart.  I’d been avoiding many Breyers Blast flavors, (1) because I’m not really an ice cream expert – I usually defer to the experts at OnSecondScoop, and (2) many of the flavors seemed pretty straightforward and not too exciting to me.  Still, since my friend loved this, i decided to give it a shot.

I like the exploding look to the ice cream

Frozen Dairy Dessert, not ice cream

Like the pieces can’t wait to jump into your mouth

I forgot who it was, but a commenter once told me that the reason some tubs are called Frozen Dairy Dessert, like this Breyers Blasts Waffle Cone with Chocolatey Chips is, is because it doesn’t contain enough cream to be considered “ice cream.” Breyers makes both ice cream and frozen dairy desserts.

This whole tub has…holy moly, over 1600 calories! Dude.

Standard right-out-of-the-box look

Digging deeper reveals more caramel and lots of chunky pieces.

Plenty of caramel, chocolate chips, and waffle cone pieces.

My take on this Breyers Blasts! Waffle Cone with Chocolatey Chips? You’ll like it if you enjoy crunchy ice cream.  Which is not a putdown or a compliment – it’s meant just as I wrote it. As OnSecondScoop put it, “This is the kind of ice cream that you really have to chew because it’s just that crunchy.”

This had standard vanilla ice cream taste, with plenty of caramel swirl, meaning you’re basically eating a lot of caramel ice cream.  Plenty tasty, although this was lighter in texture than other cream-based caramel ice creams.

The chunks were great – plenty of fudge covering the waffle cone, and lots of squarish chocolate chips. The flavor is really very predictable, which doesn’t make it bad – it basically tastes how you’d imagine it to taste. Vanilla, fudgey, chocolatey, caramel-y, and hints of waffle cone flavor.

I’d probably eat this again, but I do agree with On Second Scoop: this is a chunkier variety of ice cream, so if you’re more of a smooth ice cream person, you’ll wanna look elsewhere.  Personally, I enjoyed Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream better (one of my earliest reviews!)

Thoughts? Hit me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy

Discuss - 12 Comments

  1. I think that was me that filled you in on the frozen dairy dessert difference way back when! Pretty jarring, isn’t it?

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @IE: It must’ve been you! And yes, definitely surprising, although I guess since Frozen Dairy Desserts just have more skim milk, it’s not a bad thing, right?

  2. Definitely not a bad thing. Plus, since I ABSOLUTELY LOVE crunchy foods, any ice cream (or frozen dairy dessert) that I have to chew my way through is right up my alley!

  3. Dr. Stanley Goodspeed says:

    I wouldn’t consider Armand’s to be in Cleveland Park, btw.

  4. I’m always hesitant when I see food-like terms like “Chocolatey” – is it chocolate or not? What the hell? “Frozen Dairy Dessert” doesn’t instill much confidence either. I want my food to be food.

  5. Dubba says:

    now ya got me thinkin about americone dream!

    • junkfoodguy says:

      @Dubba: I know, right? Do you ever go back and buy ice cream you’ve already reviewed, or do you just think: “Man…but I have like 30 more pints in my fridge to sooth this hunger beast!”

  6. jack mehoff says:

    you don’t know your ass from your elbow.

  7. Elizabeth says:

    It’s three years later and we still see this guy! My partner and I call him “angry singing man” of Connecticut Ave. We’d see him in Van Ness when we lived there, and now we see him near the zoo. At first I found him jarring, too, but now it brings me joy to run into him. He’s changed his hours lately, too, so it’s more of a surprise to see him. I’d love to know what he sings about!

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