New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme & Things Change At A Drop Of A Hat: Mega Millions and Getting Coughed On
Junk Food Nation, things change at a drop of hat. Life throws you curveballs, and you have to deal with it. Case in point:
1. I was ALL READY to quit my job and roll to the Virgin Islands after I was SURE I was winning the Mega Millions jackpot yesterday. Then BAM! Apparently I didn’t win. Well, that was a shock to me. In the drop of a hat, I went from assured-millionaire to just your friendly neighborhood Junk Food Guy. Boo.
2. I was on the subway yesterday, dozing off as the train chugged along towards my home stop, when all a sudden the man behind me coughed loudly – RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF MY HEAD! No mouth cover, nothing! Just “…..cough COUGH COUGH COUGH” and I could feel the air and shit on my hair! What the…! I was just hoping for a nice nap on the way home, and then all of a sudden, my whole evening was ruined. I turned to glare at the guy, but then he turned out to be some crazy looking dude wearing mismatched clothes and glasses that were too thick carrying a stack of newspapers. Well, clearly, I wasn’t about to lecture him on societal norms. Rest assured, I washed my hair as soon as I got home. Horrible.
3. The final example of things changing, and needing to roll with the punches: I had a whole fantasy baseball post ready to post today. I wrote it all out, added my junk food pictures, and was ready to hit POST. Hell, I even previewed the fact that I’d be posting a fantasy baseball article yesterday! However, I decided to hit the grocery store this morning real quick, and that’s when I saw these:
That’s right folks: NEW DORITOS JACKED ENCHILADA SUPREME!!!!!!
New Doritos??? Are you kidding me? Now, to be fair, I had HEARD of these – after all, these were released at this year’s SXSW conference in Texas earlier this month. The SXSW release has had coverage by Foodbeast and The Impulsive Buy. But I didn’t think they’d reach my humble Giant food mart until much later – but today, March 31, 2012, THERE THEY WERE.
See? Things change. Time to scrap the fantasy baseball post, save it for later, and present these chips to you!
New Doritos Jacked debuted at South by Southwest (SXSW) which is “a set of film, interactive and music festivals and conferences that take place every spring (usually in March) in Austin, Texas, United States.” Thanks Wiki. Anyways, Doritos debuted it by presenting, as seen above, a 56-foot tall vending machine! Amazing.
New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme is the flavor of the day. When Pepsico released these chips, they promised in their press release: “Forty percent bigger in size and thickness, the chip delivers a one-two punch of intense flavors upfront followed by a twist of spice or tanginess that packs the ultimate crunch.”
I like how the JACKED part of the logo is slightly off kilter, like the Doritos are so bold they DISTORT REALITY.
They really make it look like the ground opened up and these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme chips emerged like some alien mega chip from the future.
Of course, when looking at the ingredients for these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme chips, I don’t see anything particularly JACKED…looks like the same old ingredients as other Doritos. What the hell, Pepsico???
The back of the bag of these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme chips features EXTREME descriptions like this and includes imagery that reflects the underlayer of the bag as some sort of sheet metal designed to contain the BOLDNESS. Like John Connor sent these Doritos back in time to satisfy. “COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO…EAT CHIPS.”
Enchilada Supreme is an interesting choice of flavors. Cheddar and salsa and mexican spices? Sounds generic…and awesome.
At first glance, these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme ARE bigger than common Doritos. But how MUCH bigger?
Taking a regular Dorito and stacking it on top of one of these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme chips, you can see how much bigger it is. While it seem like its only a little bigger around the edges…these are basically the size of Tostitos, but coated in Dorito-powder.
New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme ARE thicker, even though you can’t see it really that well from the photo. As you’ll see later on, when I crunched these, it was definitely more CRUNCH than crispy.
And they weren’t skimping on the flavor powder when they made these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme. The chips were practically fluorescent. These chips are what my logo was made for. The ultimate orange finger tipping chip!
Ok, it’s time to eat and describe these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme. Crunch crunch crunch: WOW.
First impressions: definitely crunchier than crispy. Like noticeably crunchier – not as much as a Wheat Thin, but you definitely got the sense that these were not as easily crushable in the bag. In fact, most of the chips in the bag were still intact as far as whole triangles. THICKER…check!
The taste of these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme? Definitely BOLD: IMMEDIATE cumin flavor along with a whole host of taco seasoning-type spices. Not spicy, per se – just zesty. Heavy cheddar cheese / nacho cheese flavor, almost overpoweringly so, with a LOT of tangy tomatoey zing to it. DEFINITELY reflected Enchilada taste – that tomatoey sauce mixed with melted cheese with lots of seasoning from the meat. While it was overall a general Mexican flavor, it definitely skewed towards enchilada with the tomatoey tang. BOLDER…check!
And the size of these New Doritos Jacked Enchilada Supreme. Well, typically I can fit 5-6 Doritos in my mouth at once. These were TOO BIG FOR MY MOUTH (which is unheard of.) Seriously, these chips were the size of Tostitos! After a while, I was able to cram a whole chip into my mouth, but it required effort. I generally had to bite the chip into two pieces…damn. BIGGER FOR SURE.
So there you have it, Doritos JACKED, Enchilada Supreme. An AMAZING experience. Do I feel JACKED? My stomach does.