User Suggested: Jones Blue Bubblegum Soda & Things On the Metro That Tilt Me 6: Being Too Proud to Sit, Revisited

Junk Food Nation, I’ve already previously discussed how it bugs the hell out of me when there are clearly empty seats on the subway, but people are too proud to sit for a variety of reasons. What you’re left with is a bunch of empty seats on a subway car and people falling over each other standing in the aisle.  It’s like, SIT DOWN!  TAKE A LOAD OFF!

Well today I saw something even more absurd. The seats on the DC Metro face forward and backward, like you’d see on an Amtrak train (or like how seats on a bus are).  I got on the subway when it was less crowded – so there were some people standing, some people sitting, there were still some empty seat-rows, and everyone was fine.  At the next stop, a ton of people get on. And this one guy who was standing in the aisle, steps into an empty seat row….and just STANDS THERE.  DOESN’T sit, just STANDS UP IN THE SEAT ROW, while the same shit I hate happened – people refusing to sit in other empty seats, the aisles getting clogged, etc.

Are the friggin kidding me?  I don’t know what’s worse – someone who just insists on clogging the aisle with their no-sit proudness, or someone who actually decides to nullify the use of a perfectly good two seat row by STANDING IN THE LEG SPACE WITHIN THE ROW.  Ridiculous.  The seat is RIGHT THERE dude. Just bend those knees and lower your torso!

And he was just chillin’.  Just listenin’ to his iPod, standing in the row, ignoring the fact that other people might’ve wanted to sit there.

Today’s junk food is a drink given to me by my friend Marybeth: Jones Blue Bubblegum Soda!

The Money Shot

Jones Blue Bubblegum Soda isn’t new, but it is just crazy looking enough for me to try it.  Jones Soda Company has been around since 1986.  I know it best for three reasons: (1) they often have crazy flavors, (2) they have used cane sugar instead of corn syrup since 2006, and (3) they are often in the discount random ass sale rack at Target. You know with the red stickers that say 80% off, and usually it’s next to a stack of old soaps and some cans of gravy?  Yeah.  Sweet.

Catch air, bra

Some of the weird ass flavors that Jones Soda has had in the past are: Natural Field Turf Soda, Mashed Potato Soda, and Tofurky and Gravy Soda.  Thus, in comparison, Blue Bubblegum soda is tame…except it’s so blue.  It’s just so blue. There’s something unholy going on here.

Consumer promoted

Scary that 96 is 16 years ago

Jones does a cool promotion where they’ll just put consumers’ photos right on the front of the bottle – hence the skateboarding pic on this bottle.  Brilliant promotion, IMO. Of course, some pictures just don’t make the cut…like this one.

Blue #1!

43 grams of sugar is an incredible amount of sugar to have in one bottle of soda.  Wow.  Thank God we have blue food dye to help balance that sweetness right out.

Your Money

My brand? Then where’s the Junk Food Guy logo?  Someone get me PR…

Confucius say

…in bed!  Wait, that’s weird.

Disturbingly blue

Look how blue this is!  It’s like toilet bowl cleaner, Windex, or the “before” water in those Oxy Clean commercials.  YAAAA!

Fizzy-licious

Ah, but there IS something nice about the ultra fizziness of a fresh soda, no?  Each of those tiny little bubbles is just waiting to explode on my tongue, delivering a payload of sugar certain to send me into shock. Someone strap me down while I try this, ok?

My favorite coaster

Sip sip sip. First reaction: very fizzy, well carbonated.  Even though I’m sure this bottle has been around since the Olympics were held in Atlanta, GA, the contents tasted fresh and there was no loss in carbonation content.

Second: Definitely bubblegum taste.  Which is weird – the idea of taking something you don’t normally swallow, like bubblegum, and turning it into a swallow-able form, like soda, is messing with my mind.  I feel the same way with bubblegum ice cream.  I feel like I’m swallowing poison.  Just a mind game on my part, though. If you like bubblegum flavor, this definitely delivers.

Third: Sweet….oh so sweet.  But honestly, I couldn’t really say if it was any more or less sweet than say, Mountain Dew.  So, yeah it was sweet, but so what? It’s soda.

Fourth: So blue….oh so blue.  I was worried my trip to the bathroom would result in some highly pigmented release.  It didn’t…which mean somewhere in my body, some organ is dyed blue now.  Awesome.

Overall take? Tastes like it should, but gave me the heebie jeebies.  This is not to say I haven’t enjoyed MANY other Jones Soda flavors…but this one…scared me.

Thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

AND SIT DOWN ON THE SUBWAY, FOOLS!

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy

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Discuss - 4 Comments

  1. Vercingetorix says:

    I don’t sit on the Metro because it makes me nauseous — train-sick, I suppose you’d say. I can’t defend the idiot who stood up in the seat row, but lay off us standers. Some of us are polite, conscientious, weak-stomached patriots who love their mothers and give to charity.

    Also, bubblegum soda is a terrible, terrible idea.

  2. MB says:

    Great post! I’m glad you tried teh soda and just for teh record, I did not buy it on the clearance rack at Target!!

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