Parmesan Garlic Pop Chips & Bad Angles and Getting Sucked In

Junk Food Nation, we’ve all heard the phrases “Butter Face” (when a guy indicates that a girl is hot everywhere butter face) and “Nice from afar, but far from nice” (When…well, that’s rather self-explanatory, isn’t it?)  But there’s another more simple phenomenon that occurs everyday that affects attractiveness: bad angles.

It happens all the time, every day.  You’re on the subway, looking at a girl who is looking down reading her book.  She seems pretty cute…until she lifts her head and you see that her eyes and nose are lined up funny!  YIKES!  Or you’re in the park, looking at this tall dark and brooding gentleman who seems to be in shape and with it…until he turns and you see his lazy eye!  GAAAH!

And we get sucked in, don’t we?  Once you latch onto glancing at (or for some of you, staring at) someone attractive in public, at dinner, on the subway, you instinctively keep looking back in order to figure out whether you initial thought is confirmed.  “Look at me, look at me” your mind screams, waiting to see if you’ve got a prince or a frog, a model or a morlock.

That’s why I think dating sites like eHarmony or Match.com need to have 360 degree headshots for potential dates.  Ignoring the fact that you’re using a photo from 5 years ago, sure you look good from that angle, but what about from the side?  From the back? Are you hiding a bald spot? Neck beard? Gigantic mole?

Let me know if YOU’VE ever been the victim of bad angles.  Today’s junk food: Parmesan Garlic Pop Chips!

The Money Shot

I’ve already extolled the virtues of Pop Chips back in this post.  There was one flavor I was MISSING at the time, however, and it was this one: Parmesan Garlic.  When my local Walgreens FINALLY started carrying this elusive eighth flavor, I knew I had to try them.

I’m not going to go into the background of Pop chips again – read my previous post here.  Let’s just breeze through the photos and get to eatin’!

Super inflated bag

Seriously, what is up with these companies super-inflating these bags?? I felt like I could’ve used this bag as a travel neck pillow.

Think popped!

Ultimate marriage of ultimate ingredients

I do think the blend of parmesan cheese and garlic is a good one.  Snack food companies often times just try to throw two flavors together without thinking how they might taste (like Cheezit Duoz Zesty Queso and Cheddar Blanco.  It’s not that these flavors conflict, but do they complement?  I say nay.)

I hate phony and Shoneys

But…BUT I LIKE FLUORESCENT ORANGE FINGERTIPS!!!!!! THAT is a junk food lover’s anthem, right there.

Garlic Front and Center

Light and fluffy

When I opened the bag, I could smell the garlic – present but not overpowering.  No cheese smell though.  Time to dig in.

Speckled green

Roasted garlic powder

We all know that Pop Chips are light and fluffy and have a great potato flavor.  But these Parmesan Garlic Pop Chips met expectations with flavor as well.

The chips were heavily seasoned with garlic, but it tasted like fresh roasted garlic, NOT like over salted garlic powder. In fact as you’re chewing these chips, you’re not tasting garlic powder at all – you’re tasting a potato chip infused with garlic flavor.  It was strong and permeated my breath. When I burped after, I could taste the garlic still (I know THAT’S a pleasant description). But to be clear, I’m touting that as a GOOD thing!  I love roasted garlic and these chips captured the essence of nicely roasted garlic.

The Parmesan cheese taste was more subtle, but I see that as a good thing as well.  The lightly fragrant cheese taste came on as you chewed the chip, mixing well with the garlic to give a distinctly Italian flavor profile.  A very nice taste.

Nice work, as usual, Pop chips.  I’d slot these among your flavors as follows:

1. Cheddar

2. Sour Cream & Onion

3. Salt & Pepper

4. Parmesan Garlic

5-7. Jalapeno, Original, Salt & Vinegar

8. BBQ

Thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy

Discuss - 4 Comments

  1. Maybe eHarmony and all those sites should start requiring photos that are similar to hostage ransom photos where they make you hold a copy of today’s paper next to you so that you can prove it is an accurate and current picture. That way, people wouldn’t be able to use deceiving photos from five years ago from when they were fifty pounds lighter or before they got a disfiguring injury. That would solve the problem! LOL!

  2. Jess says:

    FGAS, a classic move. Gets ‘em every time.

  3. junkfoodguy says:

    @Jess: I had to look up what FGAS was. I didn’t even know that was a term!

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