Tostitos Hint of Jalapeno Tortilla Chips & The Day of No Sports (sort of)

The Wednesday after the MLB All-Star game is, for those uninitiated, the only day of the year when not one of the four major sports (baseball, hockey, football, basketball) has a game.  Not one.  I like to call this day “The most boring day of the year.”  On ESPN Thursday morning, you’ll find no highlights, no replays, no commentary on statistical bullshit.  I always like to record Sportscenter the Thursday after the most boring day of the year, JUST to see what they come up with.  Of course, for TODAY, there are definitely two topics worth briefly mentioning:

(1) Women’s World Cup game, US vs. France at 11:30EST.  After Sunday’s riveting conclusion, the US needs to take care of business early and often.

(2) Tour de France de injury.  Holy S. – have you SEEN how many bikers have crashed this year?  Cars running people off the road, fans knocking over packs of bikes like dominos —- it’s.  Been.  AWESOME.

The Money Shot

I’ve been eating regular Tostitos with big gobs of salsa for as long as I can remember.  My mother, where I get some of my obsessive personality from, would go on these kicks where she would buy big Costco size tubs of salsa with bags of chips.  And Tostitos has been cranking out solid stone ground white corn chips since 1979.  Whether they be strips, or scoops, or rippled cups, or yellow corn, or flavored with Lime, people have been enjoying Tostitos with dip for a long time – indeed, since they advertise PURPOSELY that they have no added flavoring or preservatives, Tostitos is your perfect dipping chip…

They're friends!

…as advocated by their crazy logo.  Am I the only to just NOW notice that the T’s in the name form two people sharing chips over a bowl of salsa??  Tostitos, you need to give your graphics department a raise, because this is genius!  I feel like I finally was able to see the 3-D hot air balloon in one of those crazy Magic Eye paintings.

(Note: I have been staring at the result of this last link for twenty minutes now, and it’s either a dragon, a heart, or an anchor.  Those things could not be more different.  Boo, Magic Eye.  Boo.)

I like corn

Because Tostitos generally lack any flavoring, the Hint of Jalapeno variety that are new in stores caught my eye immediately.  Now, unlike my review of the Jalapeno Smokehouse Almonds, since these chips purport only to have a HINT of jalapeno, I tempered my expectation.  Still, I was skeptical.

See, the thing is I hate the previously-mentioned Tostitos flavored with a Hint of Lime.  They taste like they have a thin film of lime sugar on them.  Each bite of a Lime Tostitos chip sent a puff of limey sour into my mouth which was really unpleasant.  Please, Tostitos – tell me you haven’t replicated this in your jalapeno effort.

Surprisingly unbroken

To Tostitos’ credit, because they are not loaded with added preservatives to keep the chips flaky, are often crunchy as hell.  As a result, they actually withstand normal bag packaging pretty well.  Here we have big thick chips that are speckled with green.

Green Speckled Monster!

As I took a bite of my first chip, I noted my disappointment: NOT. SPICY. AT. ALL.  Now this is very confusing for me, since the damn chips are called Hint of Jalapeno.  Where’s the HINT!?

Take 2: I tasted chip after chip – FINALLY after munching down my seventh chip in a row, I got a SLIGHT tingle on the edges of my lips and tongue.  Of course, one swallow of saliva and this burn went away. Sigh.

Up close and Jala-personal

A closer look at the chip reveals – well, not much.  Are these green specks supposed to be bits of dried jalapeno?  Are the colored bits of salt…spicy salt?  Or is the whole chip just an elaborate hoax?

Perhaps the chip tastes better when used as Tostitos are traditionally used – with salsa or dip.  But on its own, this chip is a flop.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy

Discuss - 7 Comments

  1. Adi says:

    How can hockey be one of the four major sports?? HOCKEY! Soccer is the world’s sport — it’s older than Jesus!!!!!! Everyone plays it everywhere!!!

    And it’s no surprise Tostitos didn’t come through — their “Hint of Lime” shenanigans taste like fake powdery crap, so I’d expect their “Hint of Jalapeno” to follow suit. But thanks for tasting it and saving me the trouble of listening to the slightly curious voice in my head.

    Kudos, Junkfood Guy, for trying crap I’m too scared to try. (Hockey… really? *shakes head*)

  2. M says:

    If you think the TdF crashes are awesome (K was horrified by the car crash when she saw the replay last night), just wait until the true mountain stages. That is even better…

  3. Shorneys says:

    I respectfully disagree. I never expect anything mass marketed to white people and sold in Minnesota to be spicy, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Hint of Jalapeño chips had a decent amount of balanced flavor that included garlic, onion, and jalapeño. However, if you look at the ingredients list, sour cream is _ahead_ of jalapeño powder, so really what we’re getting is a spicified sour cream and onion tortilla chip. WHICH IS DELICIOUS. Granted, not what you were promised on the front of the bag, but awesome as a flavored corn chip.

    And thanks for opening my eyes to the tostitos logo – that’s genius! Like the phantom “11” that was hiding out in the old Big 10 logo (now totally screwed up by Nebraska) or the negative space arrow in the FedEx logo – I love it when logos are more than they appear.

  4. junkfoodguy says:

    I like your assessment Shorneys – if it had been marketed as spicy sour cream and onion, I’d be all over it.

  5. Lindemann says:

    I had a similarly traumatic experience with Tostitos Hint of Lime, so I am deeply skeptical of any additional flavor on tortilla chips intended for dipping.

    My favorite tortilla chip for the past few years has been Nana’s Cocina, which you can get at Whole Foods and (I think) Harris Titties*. You should review that.

    * note: not real name of supermarket

  6. Lamont says:

    Awesome article, refreshing web page layout, carry on the good work

  7. Lindemann says:

    Hey junkfoodguy, can you please review these Tostitos Artizan flavors that have been popping up in grocery stores? I don’t trust the Tostitos Artizans any farther than I can throw them.

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